In a subchapter entitled “A ‘Special’ Act for a Special Evening?” the authors note that “some teens talk about prom night as the night they might have sex for the first time because the night feels special and significant.” Without making any ruling as to the wisdom of such a practice, they invite young people to consider whether to bed their dates by asking themselves: “Will I be able to look this person in the eye the next morning and talk about the experience? If we break up afterward anyway, how will I feel?” The authors conclude: “Sex is the most intimate act between two people, so you should take the time to consider all these questions and answer them coolly and honestly.”
It seems startlingly passive advice, even in an era in which, as a newly retired school principal ruefully told me, “Girls save themselves not for marriage but for the prom.”
Well, of course sex is intimate. It’s also profoundly consequential and, you’d think, something the heirs of Emily Post would be unafraid to tell young people to delay. (“Don’t allow anyone to paw you!”) Alas, no more.
“We’re not prudish by any stretch; we’re more realists than anything else,” Peggy Post explained by phone. “We really made a conscious decision not to try to lecture teens or tell them what to do, but instead give them the tools, questions for them to ask themselves, so that they don’t feel pressure.”