What happens when love comes at the wrong time?
Carol Anne Riddell and John Partilla met in 2006 in a pre-kindergarten classroom. They both had children attending the same Upper West Side school. They also both had spouses.
Part “Brady Bunch” and part “The Scarlet Letter,” their story has played out as fodder for neighborhood gossip. But from their perspective, the drama was as unlikely as it was unstoppable.
My first reaction:
If, as they both say, they recognize the hurt they inflicted on their former spouses, would it not have been charitable to have refrained from publicizing the second marriage in the [i]New York Times[/i]?
As we hear again and again, “I want what I want.” And… what if I don’t want this later. What if my wants change again. I guess you will all have to go along then as well. It is, after all, all about me. Just find a way to adjust to what I want.
Notice the article leaves off what their lives were like when they married the ones they have children with…
(from today’s Daily Office readings) “…following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in ths sons of disobedience. Among these we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, following the desires of the body and mind…”
I don’t doubt the authenticity of their feelings — but the source of them sounds very much like “the spirit…at work in the [disobedient]” I’m not sure what is more evil. Justifying harming everyone closest too you or proclaiming it in the press so others can follow your blind leed.
I am reminded of a conversation I had in college. I don’t remember exactly what prompted it, but it was some story rather like this one, of one person leaving their romantic partner for someone else, because they just couldn’t help falling for the someone-else.
A young women in the conversation commented, “B******* you can’t help it. There’s always a moment where you choose to let it happen.”
It’s incredible how we are able to rationalize the choices we make. This line hit me in particular:
[blockquote]As Mr. Partilla saw it, their options were either to act on their feelings and break up their marriages or to deny their feelings and live dishonestly.[/blockquote]
So these were their only two options. How about “to act upon their feelings and break up their marriages or to deny their feelings and live with integrity? How about confession and repentance? Seeing a marriage counselor?
No, the real reason they made the choices they did was because that’s what they wanted to do. Plastering it over with protestations of living honestly is simply sad.
And, like so many hollywood impulses, what do all of those affected do when these two nit-wits decide that their feelings have changed yet again? Will these two feel the need to “live with integrity” when things change, as they will.
Acting “honestly” regarding ones feelings is what a two year old does. When we grow up, we realize that feelings come and go. It’s best to stay with one horse. It’s a long race. Absent one of the As, alcholism, adultery, abuse, the original choice is probably the right one. If you put half as much into that relationship as you do into the dreams you have about the guy at pre-school, you’ll have a great marriage.
You’ll never hear that advice at an Episcopal Church.
“In May 2008, Mr. Partilla invited her for a drink at O’Connell’s, a neighborhood bar”.
As in #4, here’s where you choose not to invite a woman not your spouse, and if you’re the female invitee married to another man, you say “no”.
What pathetic creatures. Of course their abandoning their families wasn’t “unstoppable.” The fact of the matter is that they chose not to stop it and chose to indulge themselves. Their attempts at self-justification are simply contemptible.
In a Politics Daily story featuring the wronged husband, we learn that the school in question was St. Hilda’s and St. Hugh’s Episcopal Day School.
Me, me, me, me, me…….