Even before Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Chua’s proudly politically incorrect account of raising her children “the Chinese way,” arrived in bookstores Jan. 11, her parenting methods were the incredulous, indignant talk of every playground, supermarket and coffee shop. A prepublication excerpt in the Wall Street Journal (titled “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior”) started the ferocious buzz; the online version has been read more than 1 million times and attracted more than 7,000 comments so far. When Chua appeared Jan. 11 on the Today show, the usually sunny host Meredith Vieira could hardly contain her contempt as she read aloud a sample of viewer comments: “She’s a monster”; “The way she raised her kids is outrageous”; “Where is the love, the acceptance?”
Chua, a petite 48-year-old who carries off a short-skirted wardrobe that could easily be worn by her daughters (now 15 and 18), gave as good as she got. “To be perfectly honest, I know that a lot of Asian parents are secretly shocked and horrified by many aspects of Western parenting,” including “how much time Westerners allow their kids to waste ”” hours on Facebook and computer games ”” and in some ways, how poorly they prepare them for the future,” she told Vieira with a toss of her long hair. “It’s a tough world out there.”
Good parenting and successful outcomes for children can happen without torment and torture.
One of my best friends is an American girl born to native Chinese parents. She’s a smart, driven, successful physician, and I love every kick-ass conversation I have with her. But she has told me that when she didn’t bring home A’s as a child, her knuckles were beat with a ruler. She has high standards for her own kids, but does it in a much more loving way, and without physical and mental abuse.
And it is true that people are different, with different tastes, desires, and needs. Years in the future, Lulu will be proud that she stood up for herself. Good for her.
I fully believe that life can be a tradeoff, and everything has aspects of good and bad. But, I find it hard to hold up Shanghai as any kind of example, where both religion and fertility(or lack thereof) are dictated by the state.