{"id":17996,"date":"2010-02-18T23:29:04","date_gmt":"2010-02-18T23:29:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/127.0.0.1\/site\/2017\/2\/1985\/onion-economy_grinds_to_halt_as_nation_realizes_money_just_a_symbolic_mutu\/"},"modified":"2010-02-18T23:29:04","modified_gmt":"2010-02-18T23:29:04","slug":"onion-economy_grinds_to_halt_as_nation_realizes_money_just_a_symbolic_mutu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/?p=17996","title":{"rendered":"Onion&#8211;Economy Grinds To Halt As Nation Realizes Money Just A Symbolic, Mutually Shared Illusion"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The U.S. economy ceased to function this week after unexpected existential remarks by Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke shocked Americans into realizing that money is, in fact, just a meaningless and intangible social construct&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s just an illusion,&#8221; a wide-eyed Bernanke added as he removed bills from his wallet and slowly spread them out before him. &#8220;Just look at it: Meaningless pieces of paper with numbers printed on them. Worthless.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>According to witnesses, Finance Committee members sat in thunderstruck silence for several moments until Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) finally shouted out, &#8220;Oh my God, he&#8217;s right. It&#8217;s all a mirage. All of it\u201d\u201dthe money, our whole economy\u201d\u201dit&#8217;s all a lie!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/content\/news\/u_s_economy_grinds_to_halt_as\">Read it all<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The U.S. economy ceased to function this week after unexpected existential remarks by Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke shocked Americans into realizing that money is, in fact, just a meaningless and intangible social construct&#8230;. &#8220;It&#8217;s just an illusion,&#8221; a wide-eyed<span class=\"ellipsis\">&hellip;<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"read-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/?p=17996\">Read more &#8250;<\/a><\/div>\n<p><!-- end of .read-more --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":794,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,49,149,194],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17996","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-economics-politics","category-general-interest","category-economy","category-humor-trivia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17996","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/794"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=17996"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17996\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=17996"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=17996"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=17996"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}