{"id":24462,"date":"2011-02-09T17:02:34","date_gmt":"2011-02-09T17:02:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/127.0.0.1\/site\/2017\/2\/1985\/elizabeth_bernstein-how-and_why-to_say_i_love_you\/"},"modified":"2011-02-09T17:02:34","modified_gmt":"2011-02-09T17:02:34","slug":"elizabeth_bernstein-how-and_why-to_say_i_love_you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/?p=24462","title":{"rendered":"(WSJ) Elizabeth Bernstein&#8211;How&#8211;and Why&#8211;to say &#34;I love you&#34;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Need help with &#8220;I love you&#8221;? Here&#8217;s what I&#8217;ve learned:<\/p>\n<p>Pretend you&#8217;re a child. My sister recently tried to teach her son, Zachy, who is almost three, to sing the song &#8220;Do You Love Me?&#8221; from &#8220;Fiddler on the Roof&#8221; with her. Each time she sang the title lyric, Zachy belted out &#8220;YES!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Ask the person to say it back to you. Dr. Kirschner calls this &#8220;positive shaping talk.&#8221; If you tell your mother that you love her and she doesn&#8217;t respond, say, &#8220;Mom, I would really appreciate it if you told me you loved me.&#8221; If mom freezes, Dr. Kirschner says, gently coax and encourage her. &#8220;No one can read your mind,&#8221; she says. &#8220;You have to teach them how to show you love.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/online.wsj.com\/article\/SB20001424052748704422204576130154005774660.html\">Read it all<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Need help with &#8220;I love you&#8221;? Here&#8217;s what I&#8217;ve learned: Pretend you&#8217;re a child. My sister recently tried to teach her son, Zachy, who is almost three, to sing the song &#8220;Do You Love Me?&#8221; from &#8220;Fiddler on the Roof&#8221;<span class=\"ellipsis\">&hellip;<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"read-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/?p=24462\">Read more &#8250;<\/a><\/div>\n<p><!-- end of .read-more --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":794,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[39,98,125,177,129,34,126],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24462","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture-watch","category-marriage-family","category-men","category-pastoral-theology","category-psychology","category-theology","category-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24462","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/794"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24462"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24462\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24462"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24462"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24462"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}