{"id":55309,"date":"2016-08-05T00:12:58","date_gmt":"2016-08-05T00:12:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/127.0.0.1\/site\/2017\/2\/1985\/babylon_bee_elevation_church_debuts_water_slide_baptismal\/"},"modified":"2016-08-05T00:12:58","modified_gmt":"2016-08-05T00:12:58","slug":"babylon_bee_elevation_church_debuts_water_slide_baptismal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/?p=55309","title":{"rendered":"Do not Take Yourself Too Seriously Dept: (Babylon Bee) Elevation Church Debuts Water Slide Baptismal"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Regular attenders of Elevation Church reported being surprised Sunday morning when they were directed to the \u201cnew balcony entrance\u201d\u009d for seating.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe normally get there early so we can sit as close to pastor Steven as possible,\u201d\u009d Marie Dotwiler told reporters. \u201cWe were all like, \u201d\u02dcWhat\u2019s going on?&#8217;\u201d\u009d They did not have to wonder for long.<\/p>\n<p>Pastor Steven Furtick took the stage under a single spotlight, and after some coy banter, he reportedly announced that it was \u201cBaptism Sunday,\u201d\u009d but that this was \u201cnot your Mama\u2019s Baptism Sunday.\u201d\u009d At this cue, a giant water slide, stretching from the balcony down to a small pool of water, was unveiled from behind a large curtain as the worship band began performing TLC\u2019s 1994 hit \u201cWaterfalls.\u201d\u009d<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/babylonbee.com\/news\/elevation-church-debuts-water-slide-baptismal\">Read it all<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Regular attenders of Elevation Church reported being surprised Sunday morning when they were directed to the \u201cnew balcony entrance\u201d\u009d for seating. \u201cWe normally get there early so we can sit as close to pastor Steven as possible,\u201d\u009d Marie Dotwiler told<span class=\"ellipsis\">&hellip;<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"read-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/?p=55309\">Read more &#8250;<\/a><\/div>\n<p><!-- end of .read-more --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":794,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[39,49,194,108],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-55309","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture-watch","category-general-interest","category-humor-trivia","category-religion-culture"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55309","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/794"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=55309"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55309\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=55309"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=55309"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kendallharmon.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=55309"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}