They arrive anxious for an answer. Or maybe, finally, a sense of peace. They arrive because they haven\u2019t been able to resolve the biggest question of their lives: Do I want to be a parent?<\/i> And so they come to the California therapy practice of Ann Davidman \u2014 by plane, by car, by phone \u2014 in the hope that the self-titled \u201cmotherhood clarity mentor\u201d might deliver an epiphany.<\/p>\n
Next comes a simple instruction: Write down every fear, every loaded question, every disapproving comment and every panic-inducing headline that has coalesced into a stranglehold of indecision.<\/p>\n
Will my mom be disappointed if I don\u2019t give her a grandchild?<\/i><\/p>\n
What kind of world will my kid grow up in?<\/i><\/p>\n
Will I regret it if I don\u2019t have a baby?<\/i><\/p>\n
Will I regret it if I do have a baby?<\/i><\/p>\n
Then: \u201cYou put them all away in an envelope,\u201d Davidman says. \u201cThese are really important issues, but we just don\u2019t want to talk about them right now. When you\u2019re considering all those external factors prematurely without knowing what you want and why you want it, they just get in the way.\u201d<\/p>\n
Parental indecision has been Davidman\u2019s area of expertise since 1991, when she and fellow therapist Denise L. Carlini created a group for those who sought help deciding whether to have a child. The pair co-authored a book, \u201cMotherhood \u2014 Is It for Me? Your Step-By-Step Guide to Clarity<\/a>\u201d in 2016. And in the years since then, Davidman says she\u2019s found herself busier than she\u2019s ever been, as waves of 30- and 40-somethings \u2014 members of the \u201cxennial\u201d microgeneration, made up of the youngest members of Gen X and the oldest millennials \u2014 have realized that if they are going to make a choice about building a family, they should probably make it soon.<\/p>\n For members of this cohort, the decision might feel especially daunting.<\/p>\n \n \n Read it all<\/a>.<\/p>\n \u201cImagine, she says, if there were a line on the patient history forms you fill out at your doctor\u2019s office: Do you know whether you want to have children? Here are some resources to help you decide.\u201d https:\/\/t.co\/oA3jatH6Ke<\/a><\/p>\n \u2014 Tara Burk (@TJKB) March 18, 2019<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n