After nearly four months of frank, honest, and open dialogue about the failing economy, a weary U.S. populace announced this week that it is once again ready to be lied to about the current state of the financial system.
Tired of hearing the grim truth about their economic future, Americans demanded that the bald-faced lies resume immediately, particularly whenever politicians feel the need to divulge another terrifying problem with Wall Street, the housing market, or any one of a hundred other ticking time bombs everyone was better off not knowing about.
In addition, citizens are requesting that the phrase, “It will only get worse before it gets better,” be permanently replaced with, “Things are going great. Enjoy yourselves.”
“I thought I wanted a new era of transparency and accountability, but honestly, I just can’t handle it,” Ohio resident Nathan Pletcher said. “All I ever hear about now is how my retirement has been pushed back 15 years and how I won’t be able to afford my daughter’s tuition when she grows up.”
No, no, no . . . if the current party in power doesn’t tell us the “truth” about all the ticking time bombs out there, how are they going to save us by piling up more regulations, control, and taxes?
The “truth” must continue to be told.
Why not? It was being lied to by the media (Chris “Tingling Leg” Matthews) & Congress (B. Frank, C. Dodd, N. Pelosi) that brought us INTO the economic crisis, maybe lying will get us out?
(/sarcasm)
Don’t forget, The Onion is a sarcasm site, all the news that’s fit to be made up. People tend to forget that, and take them too seriously now and then. However, having said that, nuggets of truth is often found in sarcasm.
I love newspapers. Whether they are liberal or consevative. Sometimes if they are caught lying they wind up in court being sued.
I also like the “emergency recall” of all US currency featured in one of the Onion videos!