Putting the ‘hopeless’ in hopeless romantics, a new study of more than 1,400 spouses concludes that one of the flimsiest foundations for a marriage is, incredibly, love.
It seems a heretical claim to make at a time when two-thirds of the population believes in soulmates ”” those rom-com-anointed pairings viewed as “meant to be.” But researchers find marriages based on that ideal, although happy, are so fragile as to be 1 1/2 times likelier to end in divorce than unions steeped in traditional values ”” think child-bearing, fidelity and interdependence.
“Marriage is about a long-term commitment, thick and thin, kids, money ”” all that stuff,” says study co-author W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia. “But in our day and age, as people have developed more independence, there’s been much more focus on just the emotional dimensions of married life.”
This study is very congruent with research over the past two decades negatively correlating cohabitation before marriage with marital longevity. Commitment is the key factor.
And does love have nothing to do with commitment? Hum. And here I always thought they were like a lime rickey and a hot day. Larry