Want great marriage advice? Ask a divorced person.
People who lose the most important relationship of their life tend to spend some time thinking about what went wrong. If they are at all self-reflective, this means they will acknowledge their own mistakes, not just their ex’s blunders. And if they want to be lucky in love next time, they’ll try to learn from these mistakes.
Research shows that most divorced people identify the same top five regrets””behaviors they believe contributed to their marriage’s demise and that they resolve to change next time. “Divorced individuals who step back and say, ‘This is what I’ve done wrong and this is what I will change,’ have something powerful to teach others,” says Terri Orbuch, a psychologist, research professor at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research and author of the new book “Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship.” “This is marriage advice learned the hard way,” she says.
I glanced through the article, but really, a marriage is a relationship between a man, a woman, and God. And like any relationship, it takes commitment and effort — a lot of effort — to make it work.
The section on blame is quite interesting. The disparity between men and women in taking responsibility means either men really are the problem most of the time or the perception of women that they are is the problem most of the time. I seriously doubt a bit of “expert” advice will cure that age-old conundrum! Some good stuff to ponder, but the whole thing is a hoot.