Abigail is a junior at the College of Charleston, Nathaniel a freshman at Boston University, and we just dropped Selimah off at The Hill in Pennsylvania. So it is just Elizabeth and I and the dogs, cats and birds, and sooner than we necessarily were ready for.
When I saw Mary Hays at the memorial service in Pittsburgh for Alex Heidengren recently, she said of the empty nest stage “It is great!” and I am trusting her to be right but like all transitions there is loss as well as gain. The good news is we are not in charge–KSH.
Kendall, I certainly enjoyed my children as they were growing up, but I never enjoyed my relationship with them as much as I have in their adulthood. Nor have Brenda and I enjoyed one another as much as we have in our children’s adulthood! I agree with Mary.
My experience is the smae as Dan’s and Mary’s. Empty nest does miraculous things for the marriage relationship. You are only in training; however, as they will all be home for breaks and holidays. The real fun begins when they have their own permanent homes and children of their own. Grandbabies are God’s greatest gift.
As parents we try so hard to make sure our children grow into responsible adults fully able to stand on their own. Having actually, by the grace of God, achieved that goal, we are devasted! Knowing all the psychological ins and outs of “empty nest syndrome” turns out not to be an effective innoculation against experiencing it. So, we hurt, we cry, we feel empty; we ponder our feelings and burst out laughing. In the end, the joke is on us…we accomplished our goals for our children and we are left alone to celebrate. How we wish they were still there to join the celebration. God bless you, Kendall & Elizabeth, and welcome to the club!
Frances Scott
Kendall, my wife and I cried all the way home from dropping our last one off 4 1/2 hours away in college. The next day, my wife called me at work and said there is a beautiful sunset about to happen and I have just opened a bottle of wine. We rediscovered sunsets, sunrises, and conversation about each other, not just about kids. Try it, you’ll like it!
You are not an empty nester until the kids get all their stuff out of your basement.