Anyone seeking a mischievous stocking stuffer for Christopher Hitchens or less exalted scoffers need look no further. A growing phalanx of religious action figures–including Adam, Eve, Daniel, Job, Esther, Goliath, Samson and Jesus–offer a tweaking reminder that despite Heathendom’s best efforts, the faith-based marketplace is forever expanding.
Plastic saints, to be sure, aren’t exactly new. Mary, mother of Jesus, has long ridden shotgun in Catholic vehicles. Yet some of the faithful, including a few with a gift for retail, concluded that she needed reinforcements. David Socha, chief executive of One2believe, which offers a line of religious action figures, told the Associated Press that there is a “battle for the toy box” under way, in which good and evil vie for the young. “If you’re very religious, it’s a battle for your children’s minds and what they’re playing with and pretending,” he said. “There are remakes out there of Satan and evil things.”
Old Scratch and associates may now have their hands full. Jesus, for example, comes in several incarnations, including a football player, skier, roller blader and the best-selling “Baseball Jesus Sports Statue,” offered by Catholic Supply for $20. “A contemporary statue for today’s youth,” the sales pitch says of the figure, promising a hands-on reminder that “Jesus is with us in everything we do, watching over us & involved in all of our acts & activities.” The company’s Web site also anoints its statue with a bit of marketplace myrrh: “As seen on the Conan O’Brien show!”
The deployment of Jesus and other biblical bigs to the toy-box war includes some contemporary updates. One supplier, in a bow toward divinity and diversity, offers figures in both dark- and light-skinned models (Adam and Eve, it should be noted, are portrayed in post-fall attire reminiscent of bathing suits). Meantime, at the Family Values Center, there’s Moses ($12.99), who comes with “shield and sword, along with fully illustrated comic book.” Interestingly, two female dolls–Deborah the Warrior and Queen Esther–cost $24.99. Must be their wardrobes.
“I don’t care if rains or freezes….”
🙄 This is what Keith Green termed “Jesus Junk”.
Of course we’ve been making fun of car statues for [url=http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/plastic0.htm]YEARS[/url]:
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
sitting on the dashboard of my car
I don’t care if it rains or freezes
As long as I’ve got my plastic Jesus
sitting on the dashboard of my car!
(second ending)
I don’t care if things get hairy,
‘long as I’ve got magnetic Mary
stitting on the dashboard of my car!
And we cross in traffic!
Sigh, I guess there is always room for bad taste.
Those religious action figures are probably made in China and have excessive amounts of lead in them. The Jesus one also probably has tiny magnets by which means he can be made to ascend.
there is a whole line of “Gadgets for God” at the “Ship of Fools” website. If you are ever down and need a good laugh, stop by there.
http://www.ship-of-fools.com/Gadgets/index.html
I especially like the “Faith Mountain” (http://www.ship-of-fools.com/Gadgets/House/162.html) for its pure kitchiness.
YBIC,
Phil Snyder
Some years back, WCKY Radio (AM) in Cincinnatti Ohio offered a life-sized autographed picture of Jesus Christ.
In faith, Dave
Viva Texas
One of the most oft repeated of the ‘if there were such a thing as a stupid question, that would be it’ requests at libraries is:
“I need a color photograph of Jesus for a report for school.”
This is repeated with Julius Caesar, George Washington, etc. replacing Jesus in the request. 🙂
I think it would be a scream if a guy in a tunic showed up with a whip of knotted cords and overturned a few tables with those plastic Jesuses on them.
Believe it or not, this old Grandma has a “plastic” Jesus on rollers (not skates). Got it some time ago, he rolls along, and has movable arms which can be lowered palms out or raised as if to Heaven.
My granddaughters loved it so much, I had to get two of them to put in their Christmas stockings. I know, bad Gramma!
Anyway, I like mine, but I think my Garmin is better on the dashboard. And then again, maybe not. Jesus has better directions on where to go and how to get there.
Blessings
Gloria
Would a St Christopher fit beside the Garmin? (I don’t care WHAT they say, he’s still a Saint!! ^_^).
In faith, Dave
Viva Texas
I dunno, maybe a clever Sunday School teacher could consider it the interactive, 21st century version of Flannelgraph. “OK, Jeffy, have your boy David chunk a rock at Brandon’s Goliath. Whoa! Watch the windows! Stop that noise, Payton, the Philistines did NOT have automatic weapons!”
As has often been noted, no one has ever gone broke underestimating the American intelligence. LM
Be sure to keep the Gene Robinson figurine in the closet.
Speaking of plastic-y, kitschy dooddads, how about …
http://tinyurl.com/35qdgv
… Can Episcopalians agree that “Clean is Good”?
Bet we can’t!
There’s gotta be a huge market for St Joe these days. Bury one upside-down in your front yard and your house is guaranteed to sell.
Does a Virgin Mary icon count? I have one of those in my car.
Being an avid collector of what could be termed “American Religious Folk Art”, I highly recommend the “Jesus Soap on a Rope” and the “Wash Away Your Sins” towelettes!