It was a great comfort to know that both prayer books expressed our deepest hopes better than we could hope to with a spontaneous prayer, and to give ourselves over to the care of those words.
We struggled for a while to find a space where the wind was not blowing Dana’s ashes back into our faces. It felt important to scatter Dana’s ashes into the majestic valley beneath the camp. Emily and Sarah finally found a spot where a small tree was growing. It offered shelter from the wind and a good landmark if any of us ever wanted to visit again and remember Dana’s life.
Dana had spent her final few years feeling mostly estranged from the Episcopal Church, but never fully estranged from church life. Her membership was with a United Methodist congregation when she died. As Sarah and I drove to the camp that morning, she said she wanted to snap a photo of the familiar sign that says, “The Episcopal Church Welcomes You.”
On that wind-driven and reverent morning, I loved that simple message more than ever before.
I didn’t know scattering the ashes was an approved form of burial in the Episcopal Church. In most Churches where cremation is approved (some still do not), the ashes still HAVE to be properly interred in a respectful manner.
I’ve never really cared for scattering ashes myself, because I grow attached to physical places like graveyards. But this was a very beautiful piece. Doug LeBlanc is a gifted writer.
What sort of funeral service will those of us have who have left the Episcopal Church and have not yet found another worship community?
Bill, read the burial service in either the 1928 or the 1979 BCP. If you can find nothing in one of them that clashes with your own beliefs, then why not use it? The liturgy is a liturgy, and if it is a Christian liturgy that captures your faith, it will serve you.
Bbo,
very well put.
I have a friend who left TEC for a Methodist parish. She lost her battle with cancer this past week, and the funeral service (which I had to miss due to the worst head/chest cold I’ve ever had) was held Saturday. My wife brought back the service bulletin and it was a very well done Methodist liturgical ceremony, very appropriate to her Christian beliefs.
One thing it did bring home, however, was that one should have a plan for ones own funeral. As soon as I’ve gotten over this cold I’m going to sit down and plan out the songs and readings (from within those from the Prayer Book) for my own service. Then I’m going to give a copy to the secretary of St. Peter’s, as I understand is the custom. The Church will follow the plan as far as practical.
er, that should be “Bob” not “Bbo”
head cold, y’know. 🙄
My rector makes very clear that we don’t scatter ashes or have memorial services. Listen from 1:07:56 to 1:09:47:
[url=http://www.saint-peters.net/files/8/File/sermons/2007/SPAC_11_15_07_NutsAndBolts.mp3]http://www.saint-peters.net/files/8/File/sermons/2007/SPAC_11_15_07_NutsAndBolts.mp3[/url]
Dear Elves:
Might a separate reply area be set up where those who wish to discuss the merits/theology of scattering ashes.
Lord, gather your servant Dana to your heavenly embrace. May her soul and the souls of all the faithful departed rest in peace. AMEN.
Peace to all,
In my family tradition the ashes are scattered. My husband and I have pledged to scatter each others ashes…how we will accomplish that is the current family joke. Neither of us is attached to the place where our ancesters are interred…wherever that may be. In my case I haven’t the foggiest idea where my ancesters are burried, but I do expect to be reunited with most of them in heaven. We scattered my Brother’s ashes on knoll of Mt. Carter near Cody, Wyoming…a place he loved to visit and visited as frequently as his strength allowed during the five year long bout with lung cancer. My father scattered my Mother’s ashes near-by in a field of Blue-bonnets; the picture of my Dad doing this is one of the most precious pictures I posess. We scattered my Dad’s ashes in the same meadow 7 years later. I will probably never set foot on Carter Mountain again, but the memories of gathering with my family to dispose for their ashes is very precious.
I’m trying to remember the title of an older movie, I think it had Burt Lancaster in it, where he was an old many dying of cancer and wanted his adult children to give him a ‘Viking funeral’ when he died. He even had a replica of a Viking longboat built for the purpose. I seem to remember that they kept his wish, but other than those facts, I don’t remember any of the movie.
Got it! “Rocket Gibraltar” 1988.
#8, I’m not sure it’s a problem to discuss that here, as long as the conversation stays respectful.
For those interested in the topic of burial vs. cremation, etc., Kendall has an article he wrote that’s on the old blog:
http://titusonenine.classicalanglican.net/?page_id=11714
And there have also been two cremation-related posts here on the new blog:
http://new.kendallharmon.net/wp-content/uploads/index.php/t19/article/3453
http://new.kendallharmon.net/wp-content/uploads/index.php/t19/article/3224
Pardon my cynicism, but I am pleased to see that Episcopal Life has not forgotten that there is a ’28 BCP.
Randall
Doug writes:
[blockquote] As Sarah and I drove to the camp that morning, she said she wanted to snap a photo of the familiar sign that says, “The Episcopal Church Welcomes You.”
On that wind-driven and reverent morning, I loved that simple message more than ever before. [/blockquote]
I read Doug’s piece on the TEC house organ last night and then this excerpt this morning. This closing really bugged me and I wasn’t going to say anything, but I feel very strongly compelled to respond.
For the record, I, too, love the Book of Common Prayer and have turned to it many times for its wisdom and guidance. The stories I could tell…
But that last bit is separate from the Book of Common Prayer.
Once upon a time, I too, had a warm feeling when I saw these signs when visiting new towns (and for my work, I do a lot of traveling). Now, however, these are signs of dread. When I see them, I think, yeah, they welcome our dollars but not our faith. Or I see “The Episcopal Church Sues You” and think of all the volunteers I know who were listed as defendants in the lawsuits filed by TEC. Or I see them reading: “Oppose us and we’ll defrock you and keep you from getting COBRA health benefits which every other American worker would get. Why? because we’re a church, so we’re above the law.”
The fact is, the Episcopal Church is no longer a welcoming, loving church but a shriveled, spiteful, evil group of people who are determined to crush anyone who opposed them. Not only must we shut up and leave, but we can’t even “set up shop” in the towns where TEC operates.
Elves, feel free to delete this, but I had to get it off my chest. Thousands of us are no longer welcome in the Episcopal Church.
It is a nightmare.
[blockquote]
“You Have Not Converted a Man Because You Have Silenced Him”
– John Viscount Morley
English Member of Parliament and Secretary of State of India[/blockquote]
14 – What nonsense. You’d be welcome in my parish, and you have made a gross mischaracterization of the people in it.
Unfortunately, Rob K, there are a lot of parishes in TEC that shows yours is now the exception rather than the rule.
No. 16 – Care to name one or two?