“Women are no longer marrying the boy they met in high school,” Fisher says. “They’re concerned with getting a career before they marry. This takes time.”
But this is time on the biological clock that cannot be recaptured.
Most U.S. mothers, including Scruby Boggs, have paying jobs. She says that she and her husband, Michael, share the household chores.
The family could get by on her husband’s income, Scruby Boggs says, and she doesn’t want to spend too much time away from daughter. But, she says, “I like contributing to our income, and I like the intellectual challenge of going to work and my job.”
Scruby Boggs admits she might feel differently if she weren’t able to work part of the time from home and rely on relatives for baby-sitting. “I leave Ayda with either of her grandmothers when I’m at work,” she says.
Fisher, of Rutgers, predicts that society will more fully accommodate women’s needs and biological realities.
For a woman to worry about getting a carreer before marrying is silly. Being a wife is a full time carreer if it is to be done well. The woman will usually do the majority of work at home. If somehow the man can be convinced or cajoled to take half or even the majority of the work he will never do it as well as the woman. He wasn’t designed for it. It’s not culture. It’s biology. And arguing with biology is like arguing with the tide. Eventually you’ll get wet.