Married couples in their later years often show a great deal of affection,says best-selling author Maggie Scarf, 77, who has spent more than 30 years studying relationships.
“There’s intimacy.There is pleasure in each other’s company. They say to each other, ‘I loveyou more than ever.’ ” Scarf’s new book is September Songs: The Good News About Marriage in the Later Years, out today. She has been married for 55 years to Herb Scarf, 78, a Yale professor.
They have three daughters. Scarf shares her insights with USA TODAY…
Sweet news. Thanks for posting this… made for a very nice morning read.
I very much enjoyed this piece because it reflected the experience that both my wife and I have had in our 40 years of marriage. I have always loved her, but the intensity of that love has never been greater. I thank God every day for her. As is virtually the case for all, we have had our difficult times, but I am so grateful we stuck it out. I grieve at times for those whose marriages did not survive. They have missed so much. When I was much younger, I thought I knew what love was. I did not. Now, thanks to God and the wonderful woman I married, I do.
From the perspective of my 38+ years of marriage to the same wonderful, very forgiving, woman, I can say that Ms Scarf’s research is born out by my own experience. Fun, humor and emotional intimacy are the watch words to me. When the tough times hit, just get through them and stay committed. The really good times do come, I’ve found. And during the rough times, I also found that prayer was an imperative. Without it, don’t think I would have made it this far.
This is excellent. More like this please! I’m sending it to everyone I know.
My wife and I have just celebrated our fortieth wedding anniversary, and we would certainly echo my old friend, Bill Thompson’s, words. Rosemary and I have certainly had our troubles, but I don’t think our relationship would be anywhere near as rich if we hadn’t had them and worked through them. It may sound slushy and very sentimental but there really is nothing better than growing old together — and I grieve for those friends whose spouses have died prematurely or whose marriages have not survived the battering of a culture that considers marriage a disposable item.
Add me to the list. My wife and I have shared +40 years so far. Second marriage for both of us but this one took!! We are both retired and time is going by. Be both look forward to seeing Jesus and many family members – together!!