Partly paralyzed, with diabetes and colitis, Linda Lent needs extensive care at home.
But with her husband working long hours at a bowling alley, Ms. Lent, 47, relies on a caregiver who travels by school bus toting a homework-filled backpack: her 13-year-old daughter, Annmarie.
Annmarie injects migraine medicine, dispenses pills, takes blood from her mother’s finger for tests and responds to seizures ”” responsibilities she has at times found overwhelming.
At 11, she said, she felt “fed up,” thinking: “There’s no law says I have to take care of her. Why should I have to do it? Other kids, they could go out and play with friends.”
Across the country, children are providing care for sick parents or grandparents ”” lifting frail bodies off beds or toilets, managing medication, washing, feeding, dressing, talking with doctors. Schools, social service agencies and health providers are often unaware of those responsibilities because families members may be too embarrassed, or stoic.
This is happening here in New Zealand as well, and we really should be doing something to stop these kids losing their childhood.
Not to be cynical. I’ve been a caregiver to a chronically ill parent (I cared for my mother full-time for 18 months before her death in 2001, although I was in my 30s at the time.) I know how demanding care-giving is.
But I have to admit I wondered why this was newsworthy. My initial reaction: hasn’t it been always thus? In fact I would imagine more children have a “free childhood” now than several generations ago when a large percentage would have helped out on family farms or in family businesses, etc.
Or maybe it’s just the data-loving side of me would love to see some perspective on to what extent this is a new or increasing trend? Perhaps with many women have children at a much older age, this is more of an issue, or perhaps the decline of the extended family has made such care more likely to fall on children’s shoulders.
The article asserts:
[blockquote] “This is an issue that’s growing,†she said. A 2005 nationwide study suggested that about 3 percent of households with children ages 8 to 18 included child caregivers. Experts say they expect the numbers to grow as chronically ill patients leave hospitals sooner and live longer, the recession compels patients to forgo paid help and veterans need home care. [/blockquote]
Perhaps. But I’d like to see some kind of comparative data to provide conte
[i]Hmmm… the bottom part of my comment above got cut off. Fortunately I’d saved it (habit from the old T19 days and the dreaded math question!). Here it is again:[/i]
Perhaps. But I’d like to see some kind of comparative data to provide context. I am sure for those children facing this problem, the need for support is real, so it’s good the situation is being publicized. But I’m just a bit wary and maybe weary of thinking that we have to somehow devise or legislate a social program for every problem. This problem has surely been around as long as there have been families. It needs to be a matter for neighbors and churches, not for social service agencies.
Perhaps being here in Africa makes me overly sensitive to what appears to be over-dramatization of the unavoidable realities some families face. “Childhood” here in Africa is viewed so differently from childhood in the U.S. and other Western societies. In some ways that’s a problem. I hate to see how so many children here are deprived of the chance to play freely and enjoy “the innocence of youth.” Kids (especially girls) start working and helping their families very early here. But there are positive sides as well… such as seeing how even the youngest children (2 year old twin boys and a 4 year old girl) in the family I live with here are eager to try and help out with household chores (the 2 year old twins are always finding my broom and trying to sweep my floor!). For them household responsibilities are just a normal part of daily life, not something their parents impose on them. Not some chore they are specially assigned to do or get an allowance for… I worry that in the West we seem to have created a generation or two of kids that aren’t comfortable with personal responsibility (i.e. the late-20 somethings who still live with their parents and don’t seem to want to grow up on some levels).
Sorry, I’ll get off my soapbox…! It’s just when I read an article like this it makes me aware of a very large cultural difference between Western and traditional societies.
God bless the youngsters for wanting to help their elderly family members. Some people never grow up but these kids have learned what it is to honor thy father and mother that thy days on earth will be long. It is sad to see so many of the “me” generation wanting to dump their elder family members in a small room somewhere so they do’t have to care for them.
#3, I remember growing up in the 50s that it was a privilege to help with household chores – initially. Somehow, that help we voluntarily gave to the great praises of our parents as to how big and responsible we were became a daily chore for which we became responsible, and often it got very tiresome. But we learned how to be responsible for ourselves and for our families from doing those things and being tasked with doing things by our parents. I agree that todays’ world, in general, doesn’t seem to value that sort of responsibility for children in or out of families (and I am as guilty as anyone in not requiring more of my own children). The hassle factor is too great for parents who are trying to do too many things other than to raise children. That’s the first place to start – take the time to raise our children.