Sociologist Andrew Cherlin of Johns Hopkins University says in his new book, The Marriage-Go-Round, that Americans marry more, have more live-in partners and divorce more frequently than any other country. He talks to USA TODAY:
Q: Are Americans fickle about their relationships?
A: Americans are caught between two clashing values. They very much value marriage and long-term relationships but judge them on how personally fulfilling they are and how happy they are. It translates to a changing of partners because we want to be together with someone, but we also want to be independent. We’re trying to find that ideal partner, but we’re also wanting to be personally fulfilled. If we find the partner, we get married. If not, we break up.
Marriage still requires a lot of hard work, negotiation, and heaps of love. I know of marriages that started with great plans ard dreams but the ship, when not quided through the trials and even the day to day living that comes along, flounder because little was left when the dreamers awoke. I believe that those who say that there is always divorce if needed are overlooking something very precious and wonderful. It’s even harder if Jesus is not the spiritual head of the family.
What can I say? Today we celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary – in years past, that would seem still “just married” – now people say “Wow, that’s long!”