The Marines fighting in Afghanistan’s southern Helmand province are facing a tough Taliban insurgency. They’re also facing the strain of separation from fiancees, wives and kids.
The deployment is starting to take its toll as the 2nd Battalion of the 8th Marine Regiment out of Camp Lejeune, N.C., known as “America’s Battalion,” nears the halfway point of its seven-month mission in Afghanistan.
One Marine, after arguing with his wife on the phone, threw his wedding ring out into a wheat field.
Another Marine’s wife told him she wanted a divorce, and he was eager to forget about his home life by going on endless patrols.
“I made him stop and take a couple of patrols off,” says 2nd Lt. Sam Oliver, a platoon leader with the 2/8 Marines. “But it’s his way of dealing with it. If keeping busy is keeping him sane, I’m all about it.”
This is a HUGE issue and is probably by far the NUMBER ONE catalyst for suicide among our warriors! With almost every military suicide I have had to intervene on or deal with the aftermath of, a broken relationship was involved. A lot of these guys going on extra hazardous duty after a divorce, etc. are merely trying to bury the pain in extra work, but some may be giving up on life and are taking extra risks because they don’t care if they die anymore.
Our commanders are aware of this and the DOD is setting aside more money than ever before on marriage enrichment for our troops. Even in the National Guard we are conducting free weekend retreats and workshops for couples to prepare them for deployment and to help them afterward. These are as intensive as the “Weekend to Remember” that Family Life Ministries conducts, but we use material developed by PREP Inc. and we host fewer couples per event to keep it more intimate.
It really makes a difference but we need more of our soldiers to go to these. Right now only the Army (active, guard or reserve) and the Air National Guard offers this, but all our warriors need this! If you have a loved one in the Army or in the Air National Guard, encourage them to talk to their chaplain and attend one of these. You may save a life and not merely a marriage!
Amen, Fr. Wes (#1). Divorce is at an all-time high in the military. But many groups are trying to help. Campus Crusade for Christ’s Military Ministry (based here in Newport News, VA) is also a great resource.
David Handy+
Yes! Campus Crusade and Focus on the Family both have excellent military ministries. Family Life Ministries is actually an affiliate of Campus Crusade, and I strongly recommend their “Weekend to Remember” For those who can’t attend the PREP weekends (go to familylife.com and look for the “conferences” link).
The PREP weekend is worth over $800 per couple and doesn’t cost them a dime (except dinner), and they sign up through their Family Readiness Coordinator at their Battalion or Wing, or through their chaplain. Campus Crusade’s “Weekend to Remember” costs about $400 per couple (including lodging) with the military discount (about $150 savings), and they register through the website.
Those who attend the “Weekend to Remember” will likely need help from a priest’s discretionary fund, but they will likely be too modest to ask. Regardless which conference is attended, we need to work hard to encourage our warrior couples to attend them and do all we can to make it possible, including offering child care as well as funds.
Once again, at the risk of seeming to turn this thread into an online conversation between just two people, I heartily agree with Fr. Wes (#3). I’ve been to a [b]Weekend to Remember[/b] myself, and thought it was fantastic, and yes, memorable. Family Life Ministries also puts out some great Bible study materials for couples, and of course, there’s also the daily radio broadcasts/webcasts they do, [i]Family Life Today.[/i]
But while all those tools and resources are great, there is just no substitute for a loving local congregation that shows it really cares about military families and the special stresses and strains they are under.
David Handy+
Yep, Obama’s war machine is terrible…breaking up families like that. The empire continues on, heedless of the destruction to it’s own children. The change in leadership has been no change at all. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.
Our permissive society (especially clubs like TEC) keeps telling folks that “if it feels good, do it”. So, spouses back here “in the world” feel free to express their sexuality without benefit of their life partners “in country”. The soldiers are typically in a “time warp” and come back to a different person.
Chastity? Fidelity? Nowhere in sight. Sad, sad, sad.
Thanks for recognizing the toxic cultural influence on our marriages Sick & Tired. My only quibble would be your perspective on the War on Terror and why our warriors are overseas.
If this were really about building some kind of “empire” we would not have worked so hard to allow internationally monitored free elections in Iraq or Afghanistan, and the international & mainstream media would be able to offer PROOF of corruption among our government officials profiting from the war, similar to what we saw with European colonies in India and Africa before WWII.
As it stands, the only proven benefit to America from our Global War on Terror is the FACT that NOT ONE SUCCESSFUL TERRORIST ATTACK HAS OCCURRED ON U.S. SOIL SINCE 9-11. There may have been some isolated murders in our country that may be attributable to some group, but NOTHING like 9-11. Most other benefits are in the hands of liberated people who risk being subjugated again by a terrorist state if we fail our mission.
Do we really want another Saddam? Can the West really risk the Taliban ruling again? Terrorist victories in either campaign will ensure nuclear weapons in the hands of those terrorists through Iran or Pakistan. I believe that Tel-Aviv and New York would be their first targets. Can we really afford this?
That is why I we are fighting this war. That and the needs of our soldiers and airmen overseas are what drove me to deploy to Iraq earlier this year. This and the difference made in the lives of innocent civilians are what motivate our warriors. Please let us never think of them as “victims” or “our children” as if they are helpless souls to pity or simply send home. These warriors are TOUGH and they need VICTORY to return in honor. They are heroes not for how they suffer but for WHY they suffer, FOR WHOM they suffer and for their courage in SUCCEEDING in their mission. They VOLUNTEER for a job they KNOW will send them overseas and away from loved ones for a year at a time. Sadly, too often they or their spouses are not equipped to handle these deployments, so we, the Church, need to help them.