For teenagers, friends play a big role in the decision to take that first drink. And by the 12th grade, more than 65 percent of teens have at least experimented with alcohol. But what parents do during the high school years can also influence whether teens go on to binge drink or abuse alcohol. Researchers at Brigham Young University have found that teenagers who grow up with parents who are either too strict or too indulgent tend to binge drink more than their peers.
“While parents didn’t have much of an effect on whether their teens tried alcohol, they can have a significant impact on the more dangerous type of drinking,” says Stephen Bahr, a professor of sociology at BYU, and the author of the study that was published in the Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs.
Growing up, I went through a third approach. My father’s family had traditionally been either winegrowers or vintners. Thus, wine was often served with meals in our house. In European fashion, from about the age of 13 I was allowed to have a small glass of wine at dinner if wine was being served. There was a sense of being treated like an adult, but also an understanding that I was expected to behave as such as well.
The result was that alcohol was never a big deal or some forbidden temptation. I’ve never had an urge to get drunk, and even today I drink very little and if I do drink it is virtually always a glass of wine, or perhaps a beer, as part of a meal.
I realize that’s pretty unusual, especially in America, but I count myself fortunate I was raised that way, since I learned from an early age only to drink in moderation and not to abuse alcohol.
My experience is that alcoholism is an inherited disease that can be arrested by abstinence. For those whose lives are affected by another person’s drinking Al-Anon is a helpful resource.
Tom, alcoholism unfortunately will not just be “arrested by abstinence” because simply not drinking does not put anything in the place of alcoholism. That person is often termed a “dry drunk.” Something else must be put in the place that alcohol served for the alcoholic. That is why groups like AA insist that a person comes to have “a god of their own understanding.” A Christian knows that what actually fills the void is God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, but regardless of if a person realizes this, something must actually replace the alcohol.
My family had a similar approach as Jim’s with similar results. Take away the thrill of the forbidden and add responsibility and most young people won’t see what their peers are so on about when it comes to sneaking drinks to a party or whatnot.