Kendall Harmon: A Headline Contest for Lambeth 2008

Ok, suppose you had to write what you think happened Lambeth 2008 in 20 words or less, written as a headline. What would you say?

Mine is: Rowan Williams tries really hard himself; but is it too little too late for the Anglican Communion?

Posted in * Anglican - Episcopal, * By Kendall, Lambeth 2008

109 comments on “Kendall Harmon: A Headline Contest for Lambeth 2008

  1. Kendall Harmon says:

    Please note: entries above 20 words will be removed. And can we please go easy on the cynicism–unduly cynical or negative entries will go also.

  2. Jeffersonian says:

    Lambeth 2008: A Whimper, Not a Bang

  3. WestJ says:

    Sound and fury, signifying nothing.

  4. Jim of Lapeer says:

    Lambeth 2008: Anglican Communion leader continues “Reign of Error”

  5. William P. Sulik says:

    A headline and subhead:

    Lambeth 2008: Much talk; Debts climb; No resolution.
    The Global South absent or ignored; America continues its ways.

  6. Choir Stall says:

    “Come Let Us Reason Together” Says the Lord…..And Most Bishops
    or
    “Oh How Easily Are Bishops Made”

  7. Sick & Tired of Nuance says:

    Lambeth: Prolonged Pointless Pontification Presents Prevarication Problems

  8. Fr. Dale says:

    Lambeth 2008: Low expectations yet still disappointed: Waiting for Godot.

  9. ny_ben says:

    Dilatory Bishops Allow Continental Drift to Continue

  10. lmk says:

    Lambeth Conference 2008: The Biggest News Is About Who Didn’t Come, What Didn’t Happen, And What Will Not Change.

  11. RalphM says:

    So much purple, so little purpose….

  12. Jeremy Bonner says:

    Paris is Worth a Mass: Lambeth 2008’s Expedient Non-Decisions

  13. Bill C says:

    Lambeth 2008: Dealing with or Avoidance of, the Reality of Schism in the Anglican Communion?

  14. Frank van Halsema says:

    Lambeth participants engage in interfaith relations

    (I’m borrowing from Bishop Keith Ackerman)

    Was this not Bishop Peter Beckwith? Ed.

  15. deaconmark says:

    Archbishop Williams Fails to Morph into Pope; Conservatives Disappointed

  16. DaveW says:

    Lambeth Conference 2008 Comes and Goes, Back to Business As Usual

  17. R. Scott Purdy says:

    [b]Bishops talk![/b]

  18. Susan Russell says:

    Lambeth 2008: Anglican Communion Muddles Along

  19. Undergroundpewster says:

    Lambeth-Is this a dagger which I see before me,
    The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee;
    (Macbeth, Act II sc i)

  20. Kathleen C says:

    “Lambeth 2008: Much Ado about Nothing.”

  21. Grandmother says:

    THEY CAME, THEY LISTENED, THEY LEFT

  22. Bart Hall (Kansas, USA) says:

    “Some have wandered away and turned to meaningless talk … but they don’t know what they’re talking about.”
    [1Tim1:6]

  23. Ralph says:

    Lamebeth 2008: They stumbled upon their tongues and all who saw it shuddered (Ps 64:8, Revisionist Standard Version)

  24. Jim the Puritan says:

    I’m torn between

    “Weighed in the Scales and Found Wanting”

    and

    “Bishops Agree: Global Warming Biggest Problem Facing Mankind”

  25. Richard Yale says:

    Bishops kick the can down the road; still unclear if Communion will kick the can as well.

  26. Sarah1 says:

    I vote for #14 — sweet. ; > )

  27. Sherri says:

    I wish I could outdo #14 :-).

  28. Old Soldier says:

    Anglicanism is divided into three parts. I apoligize to my man J Ceasar. “Turn out the lights, the partys over”

  29. Athanasius Returns says:

    Parishioners to Bishops who attended Lambeth 2008, “Y’all paid what for WHAT and you brought us back WHAT??”

  30. RevOrganist says:

    Lambeth 2008: The Wisest Stayed Home

  31. Timothy Fountain says:

    This would be in the restaurant reviews:
    [blockquote] British cuisine struggles on: Indaba’s finish too heavy, Ubuntu to be served cold. [/blockquote]

  32. Kendall Harmon says:

    Please, there have been too many cynical entries. This is part of the body of Christ we are speaking about, however fallible and struggling.

    This is a challenge to be clever and concise.

  33. TomRightmyer says:

    3/4 of Anglican Bishops Enjoyed Meeting; No Formal Action

  34. RevOrganist says:

    Williams’ Downfall: Invitation of American bishops to Lambeth ’08 against recommendations of Windsor Report and Primates’ Meeting.

    Subtitle:
    American Church commits to bless sinful behavior.

  35. Wolfstan says:

    I thought you said “no cynicism,” but apparently you can’t tag the “orthodox” with the cynic label. Be true to what you say openly, rather than to code messages!

  36. Philip Snyder says:

    Lambeth – Veni, Vedi, Vichy

    YBIC,
    Phil Snyder

  37. Timothy Fountain says:

    Fringe fails to shout down Global South – even absent provinces provide a roaring silence

  38. Jim of Lapeer says:

    Try No. 2:

    Bishops talk, walk and balk

  39. BillS says:

    Lambeth ’08: No Change You Can Believe In!

  40. Albeit says:

    Lambeth 2008: “Ring Around The Rosie” added to the Church Hymnal

  41. Chris Taylor says:

    Indaba daba doo!

  42. Choir Stall says:

    Sing Along on the Chorus:
    “They were those itsy bitsy teeny weeny, indaba-pointy-hat conveenies…and in their dorm rooms they want-ed to stay.” (Repeat).
    (Toot, Toot)
    From the tarmac to the cam-pus. From the campus to the Tent. From the Tent to the Market. And then they wanted to vent….,
    because (Repeat the Chorus).

  43. RevK says:

    Dominant Gene in recessive Anglican pool.

  44. tjmcmahon says:

    How about what should be the most important headline:
    Nigeria, Uganda, Kenya, Rwanda baptize 60,000 new Christians while others meet in Canterbury.

  45. ElaineF. says:

    Lambeth 2008:Anglicans Commune

  46. ElaineF. says:

    Lambeth 2008: One Communion, Under Therapy

  47. episcoanglican says:

    A Lambeth “Indaba:” a Lot of Yada, Yada

  48. Cennydd says:

    Will the last bishop out the door please turn off the lights for the last time?

  49. yohanelejos says:

    THEY CAME, THEY LISTENED, THEY LEFT really works for me.

  50. yohanelejos says:

    You might just add: END OF STORY

  51. Daniel says:

    Laodicean Lambeth Lambasted

  52. ElaineF. says:

    Doing the Lambeth Lambaba

  53. Daniel says:

    Lugubrious Lambeth Lurches Towards Limbo

  54. ElaineF. says:

    Lambeth 2008: One Church Under Therapy

  55. Briane says:

    This is my Father’s world.
    O let me ne’er forget
    that though the wrong seems oft so strong,
    God is the ruler yet.

  56. Adam 12 says:

    Much Ado about Ado

  57. Rosemary Behan says:

    Five million for 619 voices instead of ONE

  58. Alta Californian says:

    Richard: Bishops kick the can, but will Communion kick the bucket?

    Lambeth 08: Five more years anyone?

  59. Dosjon says:

    Oh man, #41 had me laughing pretty hard….

  60. montanan says:

    Lambeth 2008: Indaba-dabba-doo (little)
    -with apologies to Hanna Barberra

  61. montanan says:

    oops – apologies to Chris Taylor, #41 – I hadn’t read all the way through.

  62. Larry Morse says:

    Tec tried and found wanton. LM

  63. mark_08 says:

    “Despite the good faith efforts of many, no ready resolution for Anglican difficulties.”

  64. montanan says:

    Here’s another try, since Chris Taylor beat me to the Flintstones allusion:
    Lambeth 2008 – Lots of Indaba Talk, but ‘The Troubles’ Persist as Both Sides Untransformed by Process

  65. Umbridge says:

    The Lambeth Games: Williams Wins the Gold in “Pretended to Mediate” and “Running a Conference Over Budget”.

  66. Hosanna says:

    Lambeth 2008: Vanity of Vanities

  67. eaten_by_chipmunks says:

    Archbishop Demonstrates What All Other Bishops Apparently Lack: Cruciform Patience

  68. Sick & Tired of Nuance says:

    Lambeth: Anglicans Finally Solve Sound of One Hand Clapping Riddle!

  69. eaten_by_chipmunks says:

    Blogger’s Pre-Conference Decision to Disparage Whatever Lambeth Did Continues Unabated. Amazingly, Self-Fulfilling Prophecies Fulfilled.

  70. sandiegoanglicans.com says:

    Rome fiddles while Rowan burns.

  71. Umbridge says:

    He’s Got The Look: Rowan Williams Looks Like One Smart Anglican, Inspiring Deep Thought When Raising One Eyebrow.

  72. Daniel Lozier says:

    “Lambeth ’08: Our Lady Of New York Wins Funniest Hat Contest Courtesy of LGBT Community”

  73. eaten_by_chipmunks says:

    Pre-/Mid-/Post-Lambeth Attacks on Archbishop Extend Hundreds of Anglicans’ Time in Purgatory by Decades

  74. rugbyplayingpriest says:

    Bishops blow a fortune
    Yet more committees form.
    Issues fudged, little changes.
    I guess its just the norm.

  75. Lee Penn says:

    Several ideas:
    1. And the band played on …
    2. Council fathers’ gift to Communion: A box of fudge
    Lee

  76. jamesw says:

    Lambeth Conference proves ineffectual, Rowan Williams says he will take decisive action but few believe he will actually do so.

  77. adhunt says:

    The way forward…Anglicanism

  78. Creighton+ says:

    Lambeth 08: The Silence of the Lambs

    Lambeth 08: Love means never having to say your sorry

    Lambeth 08: Relationships are not enough!

    A serious one: Lambeth 08: Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy. Amen.

  79. tired says:

    Lambeth 08: A Reflection on the Irreconcilable

    Lambeth 08: Indaba-palooza Produces Statement, but no Apparent Resolution

  80. D. C. Toedt says:

    Lambeth 08: It coulda been woyse ….

  81. David Keller says:

    Orthodox Agree With Susan Russell;
    But Differ on Definition of “Muddles”

  82. Eclipse says:

    How about:

    Lambeth Made Simple: Indabo, Indabas, Indabamat

    Or

    Daily Prophet: The Ministry of Magic assures the Magical Community That Voldemort has NOT returned.

  83. sophy0075 says:

    [b]Bishopric Boondoggle a Boon to Nobody[/b]

  84. mathman says:

    The blessed T. S. Eliot:
    [blockquote]This is the way the world ends,
    this is the way the world ends,
    this is the way the world ends;
    not with a bang
    but a whimper[/blockquote]
    Better than anything I could come up with.

  85. Choir Stall says:

    BECAUSE I WAS ASKED:
    Re: #42.
    You sing it to the tune of “Itsy Bitsy Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini”.
    Geeesh.

  86. David Keller says:

    *82 Eclipse–How about “Magical Mystery Tour Heads Home”?

  87. Jim the Puritan says:

    Fat Lady Sings “Nearer My God to Thee”

  88. Laura R. says:

    Re #42 and 85: That’s actually “Itsy-bitsy Teeny-weeny Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini” — Are most of us old enough to remember it?

    Thanks for a great laugh!

  89. Matthew A (formerly mousestalker) says:

    Lambeth Walked

  90. GSP98 says:

    Gone-and forgotten.

  91. Eclipse says:

    David Keller :

    LOL!

    How about –

    Stark Trek Convention Ends: Ferengies rake in big bucks, Klingons hang about building, and Interglactic Translator breaks down due to gross misuse

  92. Now Orthodox says:

    Lambeth 2008:
    Much Pomp, Little Circumstamce!

  93. David Keller says:

    #62 Larry M-How about “TEC Fried and Found Wonton”?

  94. Grunt says:

    How about: “Striking a Blow for Global Warming, Bishops Walk to Lunch”

  95. Greg Griffith says:

    Indaba Dada Yields Nada.

  96. Billy says:

    Without cynicism: “Lambeth 2008 – the conversation continues”

  97. Baruch says:

    A Waste of Time and Money!

  98. Old Soldier says:

    They good folk at Lambeth 2008 came to a fork in the road and they took it.

    Robb

  99. Daniel Lozier says:

    I think the [b][i] telegraph.co.uk [/b][/i] just came up with it:

    The once-a-decade gathering of Anglican bishops from around the world, was branded an “expensive exercise in futility”

  100. Already left says:

    What Lambeth conference?

  101. AlfredNorth says:

    “Exotic and irrational entertainment” survives yet more slings and arrows; tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps on . . .

    (With apologies to Samuel Johnson and William Shakespeare, but who could be a more fitting source for headlines?)

  102. Eric73 says:

    The Anglican Communion came to a fork in the road … and took it. Lord, send us your Spirit.

  103. montanan says:

    Wasn’t it a [i]spork[/i] in the road?

  104. Jacobthanni says:

    Don’t Fall Apart – Stick Together

  105. Eclipse says:

    [b]103: montanan -[/b]

    But then you would have to change it:

    The Anglican Communion came to a spork in the road … and didn’t know quite what to do….

  106. libraryjim says:

    Lambeth Conference Publishes new cookbook: 101 NEW recipes for Fudge

  107. Manlius says:

    “Laaaaaambeth, the Sheepish Conference, Laaaaaambeth, the Sheepish Conference…”
    (for fans of old animation – “Lambert, the Sheepish Lion”)

  108. scott+ says:

    Nothing was planned and in the end nothing happened.

  109. David Bailey says:

    with apologies to Neil Sedaka:
    “Indaba down dooby doo down down,
    Breaking up is hard to do!”