(Church Times) Richard Harries reviews ‘Transforming Friendship: Investing in the next generation-Lessons from John Stott and others’ by John Wyatt

[John Wyatt]….argues for the recovery of a biblically based understanding of friendship, and uses the relationship of Paul and Timothy, in particular, to spell out what this involves. This is a friendship rooted in our relationship with Christ, who called us friends, and who helps us to grow in Christ-like love. It is expressed in regular prayer for our friends and their true and lasting good. He argues that gospel-shaped friendships should be an important part of the Christian life, and that these can exist without exploitation or abuse.

In these friendships, there are clear boundaries, so that they do not slip into sexual or romantic relationships; but they can and do include hugs and physical gestures. For examples of this, he looks not just to Stott, but to Evangelicals round Charles Simeon (1759-1836), including people such as William Wilberforce and John Newton the ex-slave trader.

The title of the book, Transforming Friendship, is meant to indicate two kinds of transformation: first, the way in which such friendships can change our lives, halving our troubles and doubling our joys, as J. C. Ryle put it; and, second, the way in which our whole understanding of friendship in the modern world needs to be transformed. There can be such a thing as a healthy intimate friendship in which two people reveal to each other their deepest hopes and fears, and which is neither abusive nor potentially predatory.

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Posted in Anthropology, Books, Ethics / Moral Theology, Pastoral Theology, Psychology, Theology