Virginity is a hot topic at the moment, prompted by comments from the Leader of the Opposition. He may have copped a lot of flak but Tony Abbott’s advice makes a lot of sense and there’s nothing alarming in it. Besides, being a parent gives him a right to express his views publicly.
I am not embarrassed to admit that my ”gift” remains unwrapped – at least for the time being. Losing your virginity or ”V-plates” (as some of us like to call it) has always been a preoccupation of adolescents. Where to do it? When to do it? Who to do it with? Parents advise us to put it off, young men argue that right now would be the best time and some religions insist we must wait until marriage.
The comments were fascinating, particularly the person who argues that having sex is no different than, say, having a drink of water. It is the view of sex as a means of enjoyment and personal pleasure to be indulged in freely and often. No wonder babies happen.
Read the comments and behold the times, my brothers and sisters.
She sets out very well the case against casual, meaningless sex.
That being said, I think there’s a subtle mis-emphasis on “virginity” rather than “chastity,” for two reasons:
One, chastity is a standard that one can fall away from and return to; virginity, obviously, is not. If we emphasize virginity too much, we run the risk of implying that once it’s lost, the game is over — now you’re a slut, you might as well go ahead and act like it.
Two, and related, there is a pernicious cultural message that a woman — not a man — who has lost her virginity outside of wedlock is now “damaged goods,” soiled, tainted, impure, et cetera and so on… as opposed to simply a person who may perhaps have made a bad choice, who may possibly be a sinner in need of repentance, which makes her pretty much the same as everyone else. The more we emphasize virginity rather than chastity, the more we reinforce that message.
It was a brave article, and I salute the young lady. I do not know whether she has any christian beliefs – she apparently is prepared to contemplate pre-marital sex, just with the right person.
But regardless, it was very courageous for a 17-year old girl to put such thoughts into print in today’s society. I hope she is not deterred by the torrent of abuse she received in the comments.
Incidentally, this was all sparked by a media beat-up: A journalist interviewed the leader of the oppositon in Australia (Tony Abbott) who is a practicing Roman Catholic, and asked him what advice he would give his daughters (he has three teenage girls). He said he would tell them not to have sex until they were married – hardly exceptional, many thousands of Australian fathers would say the same, regardless of their religious beliefs. Yet the headlines screamed “Abbott tells women what to do with their bodies!!”, “Abbott insists virginity mandatory for women!!” etc etc. Its the usual inherent dishonesty of a liberal-dominated media.
Interestingly, I think the media were taken aback by the public reaction. Most people seem supportive of Abbot!
A final bit of trivia: The leader of the opposition in Australia is Tony Abbott, and his deputy is Julie Bishop.
It could have been worse: At one stage many people thought that the top two in the opposition would be Tony Abbott and Peter Costello!