Conventions change. A woman no longer earns a scarlet letter for having a child out of wedlock; divorce is not synonymous with scandal; and it is no surprise to find, when a marriage comes apart, that a third person was involved. But even in a sexually liberal culture, the home is still usually off-limits, as if protected by an invisible force field. And the marriage bed ”” a phrase that in itself seems quaintly out of date ”” remains a sacred object.
All but one of 18 marriage counselors and divorce lawyers interviewed for this article said they saw at-home adultery rarely, if ever, although the divorce lawyers saw it more often than the therapists. When it does happen, however, the consequences are usually dire: affairs are painful in a marriage, but affairs that take place in the marriage bed can be lethal.
In an informal, unscientific survey conducted at the request of The New York Times by the Web site CafeMom.com, which draws young married women, more than half of approximately 500 respondents said their marriages would “definitely not” survive if their partner made love to another person in the marriage bed. By contrast, less than a third of approximately 700 respondents to another question said that their marriages would “definitely not” survive an affair outside the home.
Eeeewwww.
This serves as a good compliment to the wedding announcement piece from the Ny Times posted yesterday–
http://new.kendallharmon.net/wp-content/uploads/index.php/t19/article/34283/
Make sure not to miss either one as good indications of the current cultural background in which we are all called to live and move and have our being.
What’s wrong with this? They’re just “covenanting”, aren’t they? It can all be “blessed”…
Ah, something else the SCLM needs to get cracking on. Clearly we must get over the outdated “shame” of adultery. A service if “blessing” for meta-marital relationships needs to be developed–in the name of justice! We live in expansive times; let’s not deny the blessing to the “love-saturated” among us. Surely we are moving beyond the days when possessive patriarchy rules the domestic sphere?! Marriage beds, motel rooms, back-seats, condos… every place is the right place for love, isn’t it?
that’s “service of* ‘blessing'”…
Ooops. To hasty in my sarcastic tirade.
What # 1 said.
Oooo, y’all are getting it–cheating on your spouse can be an “occasion of grace”, too.
As the sign on the LGBTQ table in the union read:
Love is never wrong.
So why is this an issue?
(End sarcasm)
Of course “love” can be wrong — just ask the abused spouse of a violent person — they LOVE each other, right?