Most straight single women who find themselves at a fertility clinic are not thrilled to be there. Many arrive feeling they wasted prime reproductive years in long relationships and are “pretty upset,” says Sherry Dale, a counsellor at LifeQuest Centre for Reproductive Medicine in Toronto. “What woman has ever said, ”˜I can’t wait until I’m 40 so I can get some donor sperm?’ ”
Nevertheless, Dale and other counsellors who give advice on donor insemination (DI) say business is booming among single women aged 35 to 42. Most fertility clinics mandate at least one visit with a DI counsellor, but, Dale explains, they’re not gatekeepers. “They are not meeting me to get the go-ahead, or so I can see if they’re sane or nice people. I’m meeting them so they can know what’s ahead, not medically but emotionally.”
On average, about 20 single women attend Jan Silverman’s monthly meetings at Women’s College Hospital in Toronto; others see her one-on-one. “The sentence I hear most is, ”˜I just didn’t think this would be my life.’ Some have said to themselves, ”˜I’ll do this if I haven’t met a man by 35.’ Then they turn 38, and then 42. That’s a pattern I see over and over.”
More victims of the messed-up Feminist movement.
They don’t tell you your biological clock winds down. And by then, the fuddy-duddy traditional guys you didn’t give a second look at, the ones who weren’t looking for a “girlfriend” but a committed marriage relationship and a family, are long gone.
[url=http://www.donorunknown.com/film-home]Donor Unknown[/url], a recent documentary, takes a look at what these counselors don’t tell these moms to be, and what the moms can’t possibly tell their children.
What happened to the right of the child to have a stable, male-female parenting relationship to better enhance their start in life: the stats show it to be so?! This is adult ‘choice’ gone feral!
There have been so many multiple births from IVF that I have to wonder if it is still normal procedure for a doctor to insert more fertilized eggs than needed with the intention of aborting some to make room for the birth of the selected child or children?
Jim the Puritan, #1, I agree with you about how many women have proceeded. However, I want to point out that there are also a whole lot of traditionally-minded women who have never found the “fuddy duddy traditional guys” you refer to, much less rejected them.
I take a slightly different approach to the comments above. This isn’t about Mean Women Rejecting Nice Men And Thus Receiving Their Just Reward by not being able to bear babies within a marriage.
This is really about women believing that they are somehow “owed” the ability to bear and have babies.
None of us are “owed” the privilege of having babies, or in the case of fathers, donating half the components of the babies. If God does not allow a woman to meet a husband, then it looks as if the woman should not make babies.
Such a woman *might* adopt — particularly giving a stable home to children who were not adopted by a loving married couple. There are thousands of such children out there who would be thrilled to have a stable woman as the beginnings of a nuclear family, hopefully coupled with male role models as supplements, and who will get no such thing otherwise.
It just seems to me that the lust for “having babies” by unmarried women is idolatrous — way way too much emphasis on baby-making when in reality if one does not marry, the goal and emphasis should be on that woman’s becoming the best person she can be and living a calling of singleness and creativity and fruitfulness through other means than making babies.
I say this as a very happy and fulfilled single person. Life isn’t all about being owed something that typically should only come with marriage.
Sarah; many thanks for this input which resonates well with my intentional use of the word “right” earlier – where I too was subconsciously reflecting this sense by women, some women, to the alleged right of child-bearing. You spell it out nicely; thanks again!
I agree with Sarah. It is wrong to deliberately create children outside of marriage. These children will never have fathers, by design. Sarah’s approach is the right one for all people not called to marriage.