In their floor-length gowns, up-dos and tiaras, the 70 or so young women swept past two harpists and into a gilt-and-brocade dining room at the lavish Broadmoor Hotel, on the arms of their much older male companions.
The girls, ages early grade school to college, had come with their fathers, stepfathers and future fathers-in-law last Friday night to the ninth annual Father-Daughter Purity Ball. The first two hours of the gala passed like any somewhat awkward night out with parents, the men doing nearly all the talking and the girls struggling to cut their chicken.
But after dessert, the 63 men stood and read aloud a covenant “before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity.”
The gesture signaled that the fathers would guard their daughters from what evangelicals consider a profoundly corrosive “hook-up culture.” The evening, which alternated between homemade Christian rituals and giddy dancing, was a joyous public affirmation of the girls’ sexual abstinence until they wed.
I’m sorry, but I find this “icky.” Full disclosure – I don’t have a daughter, but I do have a 7 year old niece upon whom my sun rises and sets. I am deeply interested in her welfare but I find the idea of a ball with her a little disturbing. I would prefer to spend my time helping her develop a sense that she is a child of God, faithfully bringing her to church and explaining our religion to her, than dancing the night away and taking pledges and oaths.
I addition, I think one of the best things men can do for their daughters and nieces is to simply spend time with them, treating them with respect. This models for them how men should always treat them. Then, when our little girls grow and interact with boys and men later, they will reflexively expect men to treat them as equals and with respect — not as sex objects — and will instinctively reject men who do.
I feel the same way towards our three beautiful granddaughters. How many grandfathers can say they spend nearly every Sunday at church with their grandchildren? I am so RICH!
I do have a daughter, 17 years old, and though I applaud the intent of these sorts of events, I must confess to sharing Ourobros’ “icky” feeling about them. His approach has worked with my daughter. Still, I wouldn’t want to discourage these folks if this sort of thing works for them.
This is pretentious and another piece of exhibitionism, the American disease, even if it is in a good cause. This is bumper sticker morality.
This proper course is for Mum and Dad to teach their daughter to say “No.” And you do this by teaching your children that No means No, not Maybe or Keep Trying I Might Give In. First the parents acquire and exercise self discipline – this is the hard part – and then they teach it to their kids by word and example. The trouble is that Mum was putting out when she was 15 and Dad was accepting the favors free of charge and t hey were both doing the wicked weed. Now they want their daughters to keeps their pants on? Sorry Mums and Dads, the horse has been stolen. A dance isn’t going to close the barn doors. First grow up yourself.
Allthough, Heavens Know, I favors Dads taking their daughters out to a big deal dance. Let Dad be a real honest to goodness gentleman and let daughter think of herself, not as a female, but as a lady. This isn’t a morality play, it’s Dad and his daughter out having a good time together. Larry
Having raised two daughters who are both now in their thirties, I understand the desire to do something like this. I’m not sure it is icky, but I do think it is much too cute for me — and I know that my girls would have hooted me down if I had ever suggested something like this. Being father of a daughter is not about escorting her to a ball but is about spending your whole life being there for her and enabling her to fulfill her full potential as a human being.
Being the father of daughters is one of life’s great privileges, and it is a joy watching my granddaughter grow up — recently I’ve learned my next grandchild will be a boy so I am going to have to re-tool myself completely to cope with that one!