In the pursuit of happily-ever-after, the odds seem to be stacked against us.
Men and women reap huge benefits when they stick around with a good partner — staying happier and healthier, living longer and passing along more genes. But the sticking-around part is a challenge. We don’t get long-term relationship payoffs right away. And until then — between the once-upon-a-time and the happily-ever-after — plenty of temptations can beckon.
Not that it’s wrong to shop around before settling down. But there always will be enticing alternative mates — whether heart-grabbing or merely eye-catching. So researchers wonder: With so many attractive alternatives, how do humans manage to maintain relationships at all?
The brain appears to have some tricks up its neural sleeve. A new line of research is exploring how automatic psychological mechanisms kick into action when the eye starts to wander, helping resist temptation and strengthening the relationship — even without us being aware of it.
Taking the word completion exercise another step, although when faced with temptation men may be tempted to “FLEX,” the Bible uniformly teaches that we should “FLEE”!
I don’t know about all this science stuff. Frying pan to the forehead… that’s what keeps me in line.
There must be a lot of defective brains out there since the infidelity rate is so high.
How does loyalty, commitment, and your word motivate your behavior?
How does the fear of what your spouse will do to you if you stray?
How does the fear of losing the respect and custody of your children have to do with your fidelity?
What about just wanting to do what the Lord God has called us to do?
In the fall of 1977, I took a special education course about working with physically handicapped kids. The professor, who had more-or-less pioneered this work in our state, commented that we what we know about the brain is like a grain of sand in a very large room. Or less.
Which is why I seldom read this sort of article. It’s basically fluff.
Men and women are different. Women are more committed to commitment and men have to work harder at it. Now what exactly have we learned that our great-grandmother didn’t know?
Scene from “Get Smart”:
[i]Max and Seigfreid have taken out all their weapons and set them on the ground in front of them for a ‘peace’ meeting[/i]
Max: Well, I guess that’s everything.
Seig.: Not quite. I still have my ‘suicide ring’.([i]points to ring on his left hand[/i])
Max: A ‘suicide ring’? How does that work?
Seig: Simple. If I take it off, my wife kills me.
It would seem to me that the sole purpose of the subject article is to convince all of us that there is no such thing as morality. Man is to rut like the beasts, why doesn’t he? There MUST be a secular answer somewhere!
Don
PS I disagree with several of their points. For one, I have been happy and married for 30 years – no regrets, no reason to flirt (or whatever guys do), and no reason for guilt. I like the idea now as I liked it 30 years ago.