To the untrained eye and ear, the scene of young professionals sipping cocktails with a steady stream of popular music playing in the background seemed like a typical Thursday night at Forum, a trendy Union Square watering hole for those born around, say, 1983. The only clues that there could be something out of the ordinary taking place were a bright orange sign that said “Ignighter” and a large supply of blue drink tickets that were cycling through the crowd. No, this wasn’t a corporate morale booster, an alumni gathering or a charity event. It was a group date.
Group-dating — think of it as double-dating on steroids or as Facebook in the flesh — is making a noticeable blip on the dating radar, as a younger generation turns away from such courtship rituals as the blind date. Even Web sites like e-Harmony and Match.com have become passé. Instead of just going out alone or in pairs, a bunch of people — roughly equal numbers of each sex — engage in a social activity together. One group of three or four friends meets up with another.
Group-dating plays to the tastes of a generation that’s become disillusioned with Internet dating sites, particularly the lies that users tell about themselves online; the futile process of trying to meet people at bars; and blind dates that feel like job interviews. Instead, these young men and women want to have their dating lives simulate the way they meet people in real life: through concentric circles of friends. Especially for recent college graduates who suddenly find themselves without the social anchors of a campus, going out on “a random,” as Internet dates are referred to, is like jumping into a pool of sharks.
I see this as a positive trend, as long as it doesn’t result in the sexual “hook-ups” that seem to have become the norm.