It wasn’t until [Richard] Mayberry attended General Theological Seminary in New York City from 1967 to 1971 that he said he realized he was gay.
“I basically came out to myself in seminary,” Mayberry said. “I said, ‘What am I going to do now?’ ”
He confided to an Episcopal priest that he was gay. To his surprise, the priest said, “So what?” Mayberry said he learned others in the clergy were gay. The policy then was don’t ask, don’t tell, he said.
Mayberry toed the line for years, during his first assignment as an assistant pastor at St. Mark’s Church in Mount Kisco, N.Y., and later at St. Francis.
“Then, when I was thrust out of the closet by my partner’s sickness and death, it was much more honest, much more healthy,” Mayberry said. “I didn’t have to hide anything. It got to where, my goodness, now it’s a nonissue in this parish.
“I’ve seen a lot of changes in 40 years. Most have been for the better. To think now we have civil unions in Connecticut, marriages in Massachusetts, and the world is not ending. What I see as a wonderful development is all the gay couples raising children.”
Mayberry said that as more Episcopalians get to know gay people, their attitudes likely will become more tolerant. He recounted how parishioners at St. Francis became more comfortable with the idea of female clergy when they met women who were priests.
“That’s where the change starts. It starts with a real, live person, not an issue,” Mayberry said.
Breaking away from the parish will be difficult, though he said he knows he’s making the right decision.
“After 30 years, this is my family,” he said.
I will consider posting comments on this article submitted first by email to Kendall’s E-mail: KSHarmon[at]mindspring[dot]com.
From K.P.:
Some of the comments from parishioners in the article point to the truth that there are both theologically good and theological vacuous reasons to be “for” or “against” the revisionist agenda in TEC.
Some people are conservatives because they think homosexual persons are wicked or deranged, and have an agenda to destroy society for “normal” people. That is a common and sinful attitude, and such persons ought not be given the label of “reasserter,” for they are not asserting anything theologically Christian. True reasserters of Christian teaching lose the debate in the public eye when they can be made to look like that.
It’s a normal “testimony” of revisionist Christians: I thought gay people were nasty and horrible, than I met a real, live homosexual person who was really nice and then decided that same-sex erotic behavior must be sanctioned by God. I once worked for a rector in Dallas who was essentially trying to salve his conscience for all the bullying he did to gay kids in school. Seriously.
I think lots of homosexual folks are really nice, good people. Many aren’t. Obviously, the same is true of heterosexuals, because all of the above are sinners. So while it’s true that this is a very human issue, it’s not about whether folks are good people or bad people, but how the Christian God intends for disciples of Jesus to behave. When the argument’s about who is a nice guy, or whether homosexuals should be “fully included,” the discussion’s already gone off the rails.