The Barna Group pollsters and the Innovating Tomorrow blog site reports that 75% of teens from Christian families stop going to church when they leave home to get a job or go to college and don’t return to church until they have are married and have children of their own. Some blogsters blame the teen walk out on a general increase in agnosticism and atheism. Some blame the parents. Some blame the internet. I don’t agree.
I blame the churches. I blame the dumbing down of the message so that many leave out of sheer boredom. The rock music and mimicking of worldly culture which was thought to appeal to teens is driving some away. However, I think the main problem is the lack of content and the metaphysical shallowness of the teachings. During one’s late teen years, one is trying to discover the meaning and purpose in life. The teens want to gain a sense of who they are and to find a place for themselves in the grand scheme of things.
Questions on meaning and purpose and questions about the grand scheme are metaphysical questions. The typical evangelical ministry behaves as though they are afraid of metaphysics. For this reason, many teens find the shallow ministries offered to them irrelevant to their needs. This is the only convincing explanation I can think of to explain the general teen walkout.
“[T]he main problem is the lack of content and the metaphysical shallowness of the teachings. During one’s late teen years, one is trying to discover the meaning and purpose in life…The typical evangelical ministry behaves as though they are afraid of metaphysics. For this reason, many teens find the shallow ministries offered to them irrelevant to their needs.”
This is precisely why I lost all interest in participating in the life of any settled congregation once I became a Presbyterian communicant at the age of 13 and met my soon wife-to-be when I was 25.
Oh, heavens, I couldn’t agree much more — but if one tries to say this, the self-assured leaders tut-tut and explain that we need more “relevant,” less “exclusive,” more “accessible” worship and teaching (if any teaching at all). Sigh.
Do you think the parents might have something to do with this?
As a Youth & Family Minister I agree with this 100%.
Would that every church “get” this and not make youth group a place for cheesy ice-breakers, silly games and tacked on, dumbed down “devos”.
Yes, yes and yes!
While I agree with those above, I think there’s another reason, at least there was in my group of college/young adults–churches aren’t welcoming to single people. Activities often focus on families and singles feel left out. Many of the churches in my college town left the college kids to the campus minister and didn’t have a place/time for them. Church members didn’t invite college people/singles to lunch after the service, they invited their other friends with kids since college kids can’t afford to reciprocate. At pot lucks the conversation ended at “Hi, how are you?” “Fine thanks.” The few students/young adults that didn’t end up quitting church altogether ended up going to the larger churches with singles ministries, at least until they got engaged and were then welcome in church life as a couple. How many singles, never-married, without kids are there in your churches?
When I was in school in the late 80’s early 90’s the Catholics went – very few others. The local catholic church was between the fraternities and the local bars. They had a very active campus ministry – in fact I went to the beach with their group my first week on campus.
The methodists tend to have a very active adult sunday school program. In large urban areas they have young singles clases – I met my wife there and still number many of the old group among my closest friends.
Church going is usually a family affair – when away at school you create a psudo family out of your freinds – most of whom are of a different denomination. Much easier to all meet for brunch.
I noticed that this subject was addressed in the September/October issue of [i]jubilate Deo[/i] Kendall posted Aug. 28.
[url=http://www.dioceseofsc.org/september_october_09_jubilate_deo_web.pdf]Bottom right of page 6.[/url]
The author writes: “Some blogsters blame the teen walk out on a general increase in agnosticism and atheism. Some blame the parents. Some blame the internet. I don’t agree.”
Opinions are one thing, but I wonder what the data are.
IMHO, the exodus of adolescents from church has the same cause as the abandonment of church by their parents. Given that many mainline denomination churches espouse the viewpoints that “Jesus is [i]a[/i] way…”, “I’m ok – you’re ok, and we’re all going to heaven (sin? what’s sin? How can you be so judgmental?)”, there’s no reason to wake up early on Sunday morning. The mission and goals of these churches is the same as that of any Kiwanis, Rotary, or service organization. While these missions and goals may be good (I too, would like to eliminate child abuse, world hunger, preserve the environment, etc), there’s no compelling reason to belong to an entity that supports them when it interferes with a tee-off time.
[i]The Barna Group pollsters and the Innovating Tomorrow blog site reports that 75% of teens from Christian families stop going to church when they leave home to get a job or go to college and don’t return to church until they have are married and have children of their own.[/i]
I’m sorry, but isn’t that like reporting with alarums, “The sky is blue!” Granted, I’m only 50, but when I was teen, it was pretty much expected — and the way the adults talked, their parents and grandparents assumed the same thing — that the average confirmand disappeared soon after Confirmation and reappeared when they got married and had children. Frankly, I’m surprised it’s only 75%. Of course, I’ve yet to see any poll on church attendance that resembles what one sees on Sunday mornings.
This is hardly a new, or even particularly contemporary, problem. The old “church growth” gurus, like Schaller and Abdon, were observing a generation or two ago that the change in this phenomenon was that the much longer span of time between (on one end) that “teen walkout” and (o the other) marriage and children was demonstrably decreasing the likelihood of them ever returning to the “old family churches.”
[i]During one’s late teen years, one is trying to discover the meaning and purpose in life.[/i]
Oh please. With some, but not with most. Most are busy hanging out with their friends trying to fit in. They don’t think about much of anything deep.
Maybe we adults miss the chance to engage young people because we don’t listen very well or we overlook those occasions when a teenager is actually questioning something rather significant. A self-referencing case in point: at the burial of a family pet, my son (now 14), asked me, “Dad, what is the soul?” I’d say that reflects some pretty deep questioning. It was, as we say, a “teachable moment.”
Until they actually leave home for college or work, it also needs to be said that the parents will use the kids as a reason not to commit — sports and so on.
And of course, the less you go the less you want to go…
Here here, ChrisH.
Church is basically built around being married with kids. That is the primary focus of the programs, etc.
Maybe that’s the “primary market” . . . but it’s kinda old after a while.