Most of [University of Oxford Professor Robin] Dunbar’s research has focused on why the GORE-TEX model was a success. That model is based on the idea that human beings can hold only about 150 meaningful relationships in their heads. Dunbar has researched the idea so deeply, the number 150 has been dubbed “Dunbar’s Number.”
Ironically, the term was coined on Facebook, where 150 friends may seem like precious few.
“There was a discussion by people saying ‘I’ve got too many friends ”” I don’t know who half these people are,'” Dunbar says. “Somebody apparently said, ‘Look, there’s this guy in England who says you can’t have more than 150.'”
Got 25, talk to about 2. I see people with 1500. You have to be in the 9th grade to *really* appreciate the shallowness.
It depends on how you define “friend.” Not all of my facebook friends fit the definition of close friend, and most of my 500 are acquaintances, former students, etc, whom I have an interest in, but have no desire to get close to, and I am cool with that. Nonetheless, I like keeping up with what my acquaintances are doing, if only to wish them a happy birthday once a year and comment on status updates that we have in common. I think I can handle it.
And, David, you are one of my favorite FB acquaintances! We only met once, but I really enjoy your updates. I also keep up with former students and like to know how their lives are going. I also like to keep up with people that I would be real friends with if we lived in the same area. Say hi to Jennifer for me!
I have about 550 FB friends – many are friends of my children, others are former parishioners, some are people I have not met face-to-face but with whom I have common interests. Some are relatives (I have 30 or so first cousins, and they have children and grandchildren). Some are friends from my peripatetic past. Most are people I am simply glad to know a little about. I do not count on FB for close friendships, simply for news. It can be a real help to a close friendship, however – one can learn of something that needs prompt attention, or get out, through private messages, prayer requests, questions for clarification, etc.) I am glad that there are quite a number of people that I do not have to wonder “Whatever happened to” about.
One more thing. For a Christian, relationships are infinitely richer by sharing the faith in common. David above and I met on the internet, then later in person with his wife at a favorite Catholic shrine in Ohio. We spent a couple hours getting to know each other, prayed, and had lunch. And though we are not conventional friends, I feel we know each other and what motivates us and moves us and inspires us. In a way I feel I know the Bennetts better than some in my family whom I have known all my life. To know Christ together is to know one another in a way that is more profound than conventional relationships.
I have a friend who wrote a wonderful song, “See you in the Eucharist,” which she sang for her friends just before joining a community of cloistered nuns. As she explained so well, we share a communion with one another that is deeper and richer than mere friendship when are in communion with Christ. This is a big part of what it means to be Catholic which is beyond mere share experiences and points of view. It is even what bridges that gaps between Catholics who in some way may be terribly different from one another. Transubstantiation is not just an idea in some books. It is not only a reality among others. Transubstantiation is THE reality. It is the only reality that matters!
So, if you are only capable of 150 meaningful relationships, perhaps it is the real Eucharist that you are missing.
Right on Fr. J! I have enjoyed getting to know you through Facebook as well. Good Eucharistic point BTW
Hi! My name is Weiner. Can I be your friend?
Welcome to Lala land Larry