The debate about gay marriage is about sex and human identity, not homosexuality. Or, more accurately, it’s about homosexuality because it’s about sex and human identity. The progressive claim that we have a right to sexual expression is why they regard contraceptives and abortion as essential rights. It’s also one reason why our society is deeply committed to no-fault divorce.
Social conservatives like me don’t have a single view about how to respond to these contemporary realities. We don’t have a single view about how to grapple with the social reality of open and affirmed homosexuality in our society. But I think it’s fair to say that we all reject the progressive presumption that to have sexual desires creates a prima facie moral right to express them.
I think that along the way, Christianity lost part of the plot when it began pushing marriage on everyone and not helping people discern which state of life is really best for them. Not everyone is called to marry. Not everyone has a high libido. Not everyone progresses, matures, and makes life decisions on the same timetable. That should be a given but it’s not treated as such. Young people are pushed to marry and, depending on the particular culture, by a certain age. If they don’t, they are treated as if something is wrong with them. That is changing, ever-so-slowly.
Think about what that means for people who were once called “late bloomers,” those with low libidos, or, Heaven forbid!, those who truly don’t feel called to marry. That “something is wrong with you” message has played right into the hands of the GLBTQs. Whereas once the Church appreciated the single vocation and helped young people discern, those whose vocation isn’t marriage or a consecrated life are now left unsupported and treated as odd or as if they’re in a holding pattern until “the right one” comes along.
I wonder how many folks have gotten pulled into the GLBTQ community simply because they sought a place of belonging and didn’t fit anywhere else? I know for a fact that some teens have because I found myself battling for the dignity of some students who were being groomed by the gay community. Those who really took the time to listen to these kids discovered angst and problems that had nothing to do with sexuality.
And that’s the problem, isn’t it? We have a crisis of intimacy that has nothing to do with sexual expression. I have no doubt that homosexuality is inborn, but only in a tiny, tiny percentage of the population. So, why the jump in the numbers of people identifying with the GLBTs, and why are more letters being added to that list all of the time? A lack of true intimacy and caring, IMO.
Pushing everyone to marry doesn’t help, either.
Very insightful post TT2.
We do have an intimacy deficit – and a concomitant lack of friendship, respect and affection for others.
It seems to me the Church might be able to offer something here.
Tory
I used to think (because it is true)- – – all the homosexual (or homosexual-identifying) people I know are damaged people. They are people for whom heterosexual identity was not rewarding, or they are genetically so inclined, or they are people who are so lonely in this world that they gravitated toward homosexual relationship out of a deep-felt need, no matter how troubled it was or is.
But now I think – – – Good Lord, the whole world is lonely. The whole world is damaged. All of us – – certainly me, included – – are lost and alone in a world where it ought not to be, but it is. Its just simply true. There is sin in this world, and one of the greatest sins is surely loneliness. And people seek to fill those kinds of voids where and when they can, whether “normally” or not.