Benjamin Guyer: Marriage, Family, and Anglican Viability

The future of the Anglican Communion depends upon young people such as Rachel and myself being able, and not just willing, to remain Anglican. Rachel was raised in the Episcopal Church; I began attending the Episcopal student center at the very end of my senior year at the University of Florida, and was confirmed a year and a half later. The process leading up to confirmation was, in many ways, a difficult one. My parents are ex-Catholics and I was raised in a fundamentalist, charismatic church, but at the age of sixteen I began attending, with the rest of my family, a rather unhealthy Calvinist church. Those were very difficult years for me, and my choice to leave evangelicalism at the age of 21 was preceded (and followed, as it turned out) by years of study, struggle, and tears far removed from merely youthful angst. My choice to seek out a different church was met with considerable hostility by some of my family members, but by that point in my life, I knew enough theology to recognize that liturgy, the sacraments, the creeds, and apostolic succession were necessary and essential features of historic Christianity. At the invitation of a friend, I attended the Episcopal student center in late December 2003. The moment I walked through the doors of the chapel, I experienced for the first time what I have never experienced since: I knew that I was home. Reflecting upon this moistens my eyes; the gratuitous plenitude of that life-changing moment exceeds my command of language. I know what it means to be suddenly and miraculously converted only because of that event.

There were several Anglican doctors whose writings gave theological substance to my prior ecstasy ”“ Rowan Williams among the living, and Michael Ramsey and Lancelot Andrewes among those who now sleep. In the years since, I have been shaped by the metaphysical vision of Richard Hooker and the creative rigor Austin Farrer; I have been nourished by the poetic meditations of Divine Herbert and R. S. Thomas; I have been inspired by saints such as Trevor Huddleston and the recent martyrs of Melanesia. In the last year and a half, I have been amazed to learn of the once-central cult of monarchy, complete with miracles, relics, and liturgical commemorations, which suffused Anglican devotion and self-understanding for hundreds of years. And, I remain fully committed to the conciliar ecclesiology that has increasingly defined Anglicanism beginning with the first Lambeth Conference in 1867. I want to pass on this heritage to my children. How do I do so, when I cannot be certain that I will have a church to raise them in ”“ let alone a church for myself and my girlfriend?

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Posted in * Anglican - Episcopal, * Culture-Watch, Anthropology, Archbishop of Canterbury, Children, Ecclesiology, Episcopal Church (TEC), Ethics / Moral Theology, Marriage & Family, Pastoral Theology, Theology

5 comments on “Benjamin Guyer: Marriage, Family, and Anglican Viability

  1. magnolia says:

    great articulate op ed. and accompanying comments. thanks for posting.

  2. advocate says:

    It is a bit of a game changer when you are a new couple looking at your church with an eye toward raising a family there. What can be tolerable as two grownups attending church can take on a whole different aspect when you bring raising children into the picture. I feel for his dilemma, and wish there was an easy answer.

  3. Sidney says:

    Ben should consider himself lucky that he even found a woman in the church his age. I’ve been looking for 20 years. (Where I live, the young adult presence in the church is non-existent.)

    My situation is much more troubling. What do I do? Change churches just for this reason? There are certainly plenty of Catholic women aout there.

  4. magnolia says:

    sidney, aren’t there any online Christian dating services? perhaps you might have luck there. also, i had heard that e-harmony was created by a Christian….

  5. Sidney says:

    magnolia,

    oh, I use the online services. Lots of choices there, but hardly any mainliners. Run a search for “Episcopal” and the result usually is somebody who says “grew up Episcopal. Haven’t been in church in ages.” Or some hard core leftist.

    Most choices from other churches end up being too conservative for me, or have a style that doesn’t work (praise music, etc.)

    I’m an old man at heart, and the Episcopal worship style is right for me. The politics is a problem.