As a husband of 28 years and as bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Newark, which has 110 congregations in eight counties in northern New Jersey, including Morris, Sussex and Warren, I strongly support the marriage equality initiative that will come before the state Senate this week. Last Thursday in Trenton, I joined 650 people (many of whom were clergy from a variety of faiths), to witness to the need for marriage equality.
I pray that the marriage bill passes ”” so that all couples who have engaged in a lifelong union can have their unions recognized. It is one thing to have the relationship blessed; it is quite another thing to have that relationship legally recognized in emergency rooms or on insurance policies or in a courtroom. The introduction of the 2007 Civil Union law was intended to support these rights. It hasn’t. Instead, it has exposed a separate but equal mentality in the state, which is indeed separate, yet anything but equal.
There is formidable opposition to this opportunity, which also needs to be acknowledged and honored. There are religious convictions that are deeply held and longstanding. People who are opposed to marriage equality often cite the tradition that marriage should be between a man and a woman. A closer look shows that the historical tradition of marriage is that of a contract between two men: the groom and the father of the bride. When a woman was “given away” in marriage, she was given by her father to her husband, and in this exchange the woman surrendered her name, her rights and her property.