Marriage Yesterday, Today and Always: A Pastoral Letter from the Roman Catholic Bishop of Maine

There are [many].. reasons why I, as your bishop, am moved to reflect upon marriage in a manner which emphasizes its importance as a fruitful institution so necessary for the life of society and the world. It is troubling that far too many people do not understand what it means to say that marriage””both as a natural institution and a Christian sacrament””is a blessing and gift from God. We observe, for example, that some people esteem marriage as an ideal but can be reluctant to make the actual commitment necessary to enter and sustain it. Some choose instead to live in cohabiting relationships that may or may not lead to marriage and can be detrimental to the well-being of themselves and of the children who may be born of this union. In addition, the incidence of divorce remains high. A nationally-respected research center indicates that the divorce rate of women in Maine is 25 percent higher than the national average. The same research indicates that the divorce rate of men in Maine is 33 percent higher than the national average.With the advent of no-fault divorce, the social sanctions and legal barriers to ending one”˜s marriage have all but disappeared. The tragic effects of divorce on children, families and the community are on the increase. Even within marriage, a couple does not always accept their responsibility to serve life by being open to children. For some, children are seen no longer as integral to a marriage but merely as an option, that is, a choice to accept or reject. This lack of understanding fails to recognize the purposes of marriage as being both unitive and procreative.8 There is a loss of belief in the value of those purposes when couples readily treat as separate choices the decisions to get married and to have children. This indicates the fairly prevalent view that children are seen not as integral to a marriage but as optional. When children are viewed in this way, there can be damaging consequences not only for them but also for the marriage itself. Continually, we hear it said that marriage is basically a private matter with little relation to the common good, relegated mostly to achieving personal satisfaction and fulfillment.

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