A new troubling trend marks the U.S. church: the decline in Catholic funerals. It will affect Catholic life in the future if a basic tradition dies out. It also affects pastoral life now if people deprive themselves of closure after the death of a loved one.
Those for whom funeral rites are not celebrated today have often been lifelong Catholics who presume their children will arrange a traditional funeral for them when they die. Some parents may want to alert offspring that they want a funeral Mass.
In 1970, according to statistics from the Georgetown University-based Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate (CARA), there were 426,309 Catholic funerals in the United States. More than 40 years later, in 2011, there were 412,145, a decrease despite an increased U.S. Catholic population over that time.
I read this with mixed feelings and apologise for a rather long posting here.
If you scroll down to the comments after the article you will find a thought-provoking story of a cold funeral Mass. There is a movement here in the UK similarly to limit or exclude eulogies from family members or friends at a funeral Mass. One reason for this is that there have been cases of completely inappropriate comments being made; and yet, the eulogy often brings a warmth, a personalisation to the funeral which is necessary. Reading the article was a revelation to me. I was horrified at the expense of a funeral in the U.S. ($15k was cited). Here in London a perfectly decent funeral in church followed by cremation would run to about $4-5k. Burial more than doubles that figure, but we are more comfortable with cremation here. In our crowded cities of our crowded island, space is running out. By the way, the church offering in London for a funeral is around $250, with an extra $150 if there is an organist.
Some other thoughts:
– if lots of people attending are not Catholic, then I suggest a liturgy, i.e. a service of hymns, prayers, readings, possibly recorded music, plus of course eulogy, but not a Mass.
– part of the reason for the objectivity of a funeral Mass is exactly our need to rely on God’s mercy. I read once that when they opened the funeral instructions for Cardinal Heenan which he had prepared for his death, they found one sentence: ‘Nothing should be said or done which implies that I no longer need the prayers of Christian people.’ Protestants would not go along with this post-mortem prayer for God’s mercy, but we would all agree that we rely not on our own merits but on those of Christ Jesus. We all understand the need to be thankful for the life of the deceased, but we have to be careful not to topple over into glorification. Imagine the funeral Mass of a Mafioso. And what will they say, I wonder, at the funeral of the erstwhile Catholic, Robert Mugabe? There are reasons for a certain reticence at funerals.
– It is almost impossible to devise ‘one size fits all’. Whether a funeral Mass or liturgy, a priest or minister has to be sensitive to the occasion and try to work out where the family are in their own feelings, their hopes and fears for the occasion. With this in mind I have no problem if, after communion, there is a personalised contribution from a designated family member or a friend on behalf of the family.
– finally, may I observe that even in dioceses where funeral eulogies at Mass are said to be forbidden, I have yet to attend the funeral of a priest where the homily has not ranged over the deceased’s life, ministry and personality.
OK, so this is probably not the place for levity, but this reminds me of one of the old “priest, minister, rabbi” jokes.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi were all asked what they hoped someone would say about them at their funeral.
The priest says: “I’d like them to say –‘He was a true and faithful son of the Church who served his flock tirelessly and well.'”
The minister says: “I’d like them to say — ‘He was servant of the Lord who brought many into the Kingdom of God.'”
The rabbi says: “I’d like them to say — ‘Look, he’s moving!'”
Having the Sacrifice of the Mass at a funeral imparts decided spiritual benefits upon both the deceased and those present, whether they partake of the Sacrament or are ineligible to. Suggesting a memorial service, therefore, would be to impose a Protestant understanding upon Catholic proceedings.