But why does God care who we sleep with? Let me give you three reasons
1. He cares because he created us
To understand the purpose and limits of sex, we have to refer to the creator of sex:
God himself. Yes, as one writer puts it, “sex was God’s idea, not ours. It’s not something we discovered behind God’s back…. His first command to humanity in the Bible involves and necessitates sex!” Genesis 1:28: “Be fruitful and multiply!” So, if you are married, have sex and feel free to have it often!
2. He cares because he loves us
God is all about love. He love us, and he longs for us to love him too. We’re designed to live lives of love. Ultimate reality isn’t grounded in cold submission to an authoritarian deity but in heartfelt response to the God who wants his universe pulsating with love. God cares who we sleep with because he cares that we really do love each other well, and that might mean loving in a different way to how we feel. Christopher Yuan, author of the excellent,
“Holy Sexuality and the Gospel”, (and a man who wrestles with same-sex attraction but who’s chosen the biblical call to chastity), puts it this way, “Human emotions can’t be the determining factor for any gift from God.” No, Jeremiah 17:9 says: “the heart is deceitful above all things”. And as Ashley Null says, summarizing the theology of Anglican reformer Thomas Cranmer, “What the heart loves, the will chooses, and the mind justifies.” So be careful when people say “Listen to your heart.”
Yes, sex matters to God because people do. He cares because misusing sex can cause profound hurt and damage. He cares because He regards us as worthy of His care.
And, in fact, that care is not only seen in telling us how we should use sex, but also in how He makes forgiveness and healing available to us when we mess this up.
3. He knows what’s best for us
This is a hard one for many of us to accept. But, Jesus is for you, and even his difficult directives are for your good….
A young Sam Elliott and Katharine Ross on the set of The Legacy in 1978, the film where they met and fell in love. They've been together ever since. pic.twitter.com/y84yc97LhM
— History Defined (@historydefined) September 21, 2025
