Despite the yawning divide between the supporters and opponents of gay marriage, there may be common ground here. Consider this: Doesn’t the U.S. Constitution separate church and state? In most ancient societies, it appears that the institution of marriage was conceived by religious communities, not the state. Even the ancient Code of Hammurabi suggests this. For the western world, it is Genesis (not the Magna Carta) that first declared that for this cause a man “shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
The state’s interest in marriage derives from marriage’s obvious benefits to the broader society. Marriage creates more stable relationships and families, more financial security and a better environment for the rearing of children. All of these are desirable things in which the state has a legitimate interest. Thus, married couples must enter into a binding civil contract that can only be dissolved by order of the court. But again, these are merely civil concerns. They do not go to the heart of whether or not a marriage exists in the truest (i.e. religious) sense of the word. Even today, some religious communities such as Orthodox Jews require a religious document called a “get” in order to dissolve a marriage. A civil divorce, albeit legally required, is insufficient and will not enable the couple to remarry within traditional Jewish law.
Given the state’s legitimate, though limited, interest here, shouldn’t all couples ”” be they gay or straight ”” be given the same civil contract with all the attendant legal rights and obligations? After all, legally committed couples provide the same financial and familial stability, be they gay or straight. In short, everyone who wishes to marry could be given a civil union agreement from the state. Whether a couple goes on to have a wedding ceremony would be up to them and their church. But the thing that would be enforced (or dissolved) by the state would be the civil agreement.
Theologically, this puts marriage back where it belongs. Constitutionally, it protects churches from having the government dictate to them which relationships they should or should not sanction. Finally, this sort of arrangement would be much easier to handle administratively, as couples could simply go to the County Clerk’s office and sign their civil union agreements in a matter of minutes. Current practice strains the patience of the parties and blurs the church-state line. Couples must purchase their marriage license, take it to a minister, rabbi or other official recognized by the state who must then perform their ceremony, fill out the license and return it to the courthouse for filing.