One further aspect of our current spiritual collapse is our inability to relate to one another with a minimum of courtesy or even awareness. It has become common now not to respond to any sort of request if the answer is no. Increasingly, if someone applies for a job and fails to get it, they are not notified to that effect; they never hear anything at all. People are also fired indirectly, with companies refusing to let them know why. We have stopped holding doors for one another; don’t bother to answer messages; disappear from each other’s lives without explanation or regret; betray one another and then refuse to discuss it. Rudeness is now acceptable, because I am the only one who inhabits my solipsistic world. (The flip side of this phenomenon is the replacement of civility by corporate politeness: “Have a nice day,” “Thank you for choosing AT&T,” etc.) At root there is a fear of any kind of involvement at all, for real friendships require risk and vulnerability, and more and more, Americans feel that they lack the psychological strength for that. Bottled rage and resentment are the norm, as millions live in isolation, without any form of community and are content to have soap-opera characters for “friends.” In this regard, I found it intersting that by 1996, academic conferences began to be held on “the erosion of civility”””something that was unheard of even five years before that. And the extreme dark end of the spectrum here is represented by the high school massacre in Littleton, Colorado, on 20 April, 1999 (Hitler’s bithday, symbolically enough), when two badly alienated teenagers in black trenchcoats set about murdering their fellow students.
–Morris Berman, The Twilight of American Culture (New York: Norton & Company, 2000), pp.57-58